I need someone to please, listen to me.

maybe look into disability payments and medicaid

shopping around for a therapist sounds like a good idea

I think that you said you were "thinking of ending it", in which case you might want to have a help line available www.befrienders.org

or visit a site that is specifically for people who are suicidal www.suicideforum.com

I hope that things can get better soon!

 

It's very likely that your lifestyle is causing your issues and your medications are amplifying them. I hate to break it to you but it's all in your head. You're young and your hormones are all over the place. This is normal. One of the advantages of being young is that it's easier to change the way your brain works by concentrating on changing your thinking patterns and lifestyle.

I would start by exercising regularly, hard. You need to scare yourself frequently, driving yourself to the edge of your endurance. Do something that's relatively safe but scary, like downhill mountain biking or something else extreme. Just like the rest of your body, your adrenal glands and similar things need exercise to develop and function normally. If you don't exercise them, they start doing weird stuff like dumping chemicals that cause anxiety and depression into your system for no reason.

You also need to concentrate on your diet. Stay away from packaged foods and anything with hormones or other drugs in it. Eat organic. Lots of small meals throughout the day. This keeps your blood sugar at normal levels, keeping insulin production steady. Also look into some nootropic supplements like alphabrain, new mood, etc. These are much better for you that anything from big pharma. Which brings me to the next point.

Once you've got your diet and exercise regimen going, you need to get OFF of all of those nasty meds. They cause suicidal thoughts and depression more than they help them. They're also constantly messing with your brain chemistry so your body will never figure out how to regulate anything naturally. These are FACTS. Do some research. Western medicine likes to define symptoms with terms, then treat these terms like they are real diseases. It's all a scam to sell you drugs and keep you dependent.

Other things to look into are yoga, meditation, isolation tanks, martial arts, and intense studies of eastern philosophy. If you can use your knowledge of what's going on inside you and combine it with the advice of people that have found techniques to control what's going on inside of them, you can help yourself through rough periods. For instance, you can catch yourself getting into a panic attack early enough to do some quick exercises to ward it off. If you know the early symptoms, you will recognize the feeling right away and instead of being scared that the feeling is going to overtake you, you can head it off with a chant, a run, a laugh, etc, before it, because of your reaction to it and fear of it, builds into a full blown attack.

If you follow my advice, you will again become your own master. The human body is totally capable of repairing itself and is an amazing biological machine. Once you know how it works, you can tune it just like you would an automobile or instrument.

Good luck with everything!

 

Tryhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i33V2EcVlY"] Emotional Freedom Technique EFT taping

 

Hello, i agree with DannyD, about exercising, diet, and everything. i've struggled a bit with depression this year, and i did find that i was the happiest when i went to the gym and afterwards. also, the journal thing would be really good, you should also make a list about thing that you like about yourself, however small or unimportant they may seem. nobody is perfect, and i'm sure you are not even half as bad as you think. you'll get through this!
all the best!!

 

No. Diseases like depression and bi-polar are real diseases.

disagree. gentle exercise might help, extreme exercise might make things worse

this sounds ok

No. there are lots of bad things about meds, but for people with bi-polar in particular, a mood stabilizer like lithium is almost certainly necessary. one of the main reasons that people slip into depression or mania is because they decided to go off their meds. any reduction in meds should be done in consultation with a doctor.

diet, meditation, and exercise can all be helpful for a range of conditions, but if someone has a severe case of bipolar, or even a mild one, these things are inadequate to treat it. bipolar is a very dangerous disease. advising someone with bipolar to go off of meds against the advice of a doctor is reckless advice.

it's possible that some self-help and alternative treatments could allow for a reduction in meds. even so, any reduction should be done with a doctor's help

yes.

 

Depression and bi-polar are not real diseases meaning that they aren't caused by bacteria or viruses. They are a description of symptoms caused by chemical imbalances in the brain due to outside environmental factors like diet, sleep patterns, exercise, and the regularly maintained mental state. The suggestions I gave above will in NO way make these symptoms worse and will only make the person more healthy and balanced. While nothing will work for everyone 100% of the time, the methods above have worked for every single one of the dozens of people that I have worked with and some of these people were way worse than the OP. Once you have pulled a few closet and bathroom doors off their hinges to save loved ones that were trying to kill themselves because of things like paxil and effexor and have found ways to help them get off the drugs and feel better, you will believe that the things I posted are correct.

I've got a huge amount of direct experience and exhausting research backing up the statements I made in my post. Medication can help in the short term but it's just a crutch. It doesn't address the core issues and is basically poison. It's much better to give your body the nutrients it needs to create it's own brain chemicals and train it to create and release those chemicals in the correct amounts than it is to blast the depression/anxiety with a load of poison that turns you into a dependent zombie.

If you never naturally trigger things like your adrenal glands, they become uncontrollable and abnormal. This is where the exercise and safe but "scary" sport activities come into play.

The brain is plastic, meaning that the way it works is able to be changed. This is done by retraining your responses to feelings like stress, anxiety, and sadness. It's difficult to do and requires work but this work can't be effective if the brain is being bombarded with outside chemicals that are designed and sold by people that want their patients hooked so they can make more money.

There's a pretty good writeup about the amygdala, emotional learning, and long-term potentiation on wikipedia. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdala#Emotional_learning
It explains the catch22 style downward spiral of how depression and anxiety can get out of control and become ones dominant state of mind.

These theories go beyond psychology and into physiology. Since western medicine tends to focus doctors and scientists into one field or another, a very large percent of doctors don't understand how things work. They are trained to identify symptoms and to medicate.

I wouldn't have posted the stuff I did if I wasn't very confident that it would work to help the OP and there's really no need to, or basis for arguing against any of it. It's the truth, backed up by research and experience from someone that has successfully treated the conditions that the OP is experiencing....without poisonous, addictive, expensive drugs.

Always consult a doctor on the best way to get off medication and always get your diet, exercise and environmental changes going well before trying to get off of the meds.

If the OP is really interested in helping herself, it's time to do some reading:

https://www.google.com/search?q=retraining+the+brain

I

 

Hope everything will be good there, soon!

 

try focusing on the positive things about yourself. everyone has a gift one way or another. you just need to find what that is and shine!

 

((((RissaBear))))

There is nothing wrong with being the way you are. We all do things differently. You don't have to be like everyone else.

We all think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and feel like we have to keep up with others. It makes you feel like you are not normal because you are not doing what everyone else is going is this what you are saying?

If you cannot stand to look at yourself then you must be telling yourself something about you that is pretty awful. I do this too. I tell myself terrible things about me. My friends would tell me to stop beating myself up. My mom used to talk bad about me to me (she was young and angry and did not realize the impact she had on my developing self awareness. I have learned to forgive her and myself. She said some pretty hurtful things that stuck with me for a long time. When I realized it was my mom's voice saying terrible things about me in my head I began to fight it with all my might. I can stand to look at myself in the mirror now and I am ok.

A book that helped me a lot is

I'm Okay You're Okay by Thomas Harris

 

why you call yourself ugly . are you ugly ?for me ugly is the fat . if you are fat , then you are ugly . you are born normal , why destroying your body becoming fat . of course there are exception people are fat .
anyway you are lucky with your boyfriend . i am very fucked up guy . many negative characteristics . egoist, stubborn and very harsh and straight with others . there is only one medicine for me . my wife . many of my friend and family don't like her . i don't give a fuck about them , she really disappear all negative characteristics i have . i become human , fragile and care about other people. reminds me that there are other people around me need for help .

 

you seem so insecure. ): please don't be, and don't think of yourself as the bottom. everyone is equal, don't you know!

 

i disagree, not all people are born the same weight. anyway, i'm happy for you and your wife!

 

This author has a pretty good grasp on this stuff and puts things in a way that's easy to understand.

Lucinda Bassett

http://www.amazon.com/Lucinda-Bassetts-Attacking-Anxiety-Depression/dp/B000SO5IMI"]Amazon.com: Lucinda Bassett's Attacking Anxiety & Depression Cd DVD: Lucinda Bassett: Books

 

:iagree: take this mans advice and your life will change and improve - good luck be well :sunny:

 

Those tears you have, you can use them.

If you purchase a keylighting keyboard which has moonlight sonata on it, you can learn reasonably quickly to play the right hand keys... The tune is so deeply moving and personal, you can add your own highlights to the passion and cry about somthing right for a change... Try it, seriously, its one of my best memories... I have been suicidally depressed for more than 10 years on and off, my occasional tears had stopped and completely become impossible due to emotional hardness.. But that brought them back and it was wonderful.

If you can play that properley with your own flair, then you are good at somthing, My memory is shot to bits and I managed that much.. You might do better. Its always somthing nice YOU can do.. To take the pain away from thought of traumatic nature.

It does get so you do not need the lights if anyone is interested.


-I wish I could be more help on this, you might expect I could, having lived through depression and chosen to die through it, though the truth is often very different per person, other factors in my life compounded the answers and 'what is wrong with me?' became more valuable the debate than 'how do I get well?'

So there is your answer.

My case unfortunately, bieng overly a logical scientific mind, left me seeking the answers at larger and smaller levels forever.. When 'peace is all', did function to help days/moments but never sated my appetite for knowledge. Hence some turn to faith, if a faithable person remains, some as myself, turn to absolute humility or absolute arrogance of self, I now remain the latter, I am my own rock internal, peace may very well be all, but I exist til' I no longer exist and I am not ashamed or afraid.

 

If You Want I Will Tell You The True Story Of An German Girl Who Felt The Same As You Now.

 

http://img1.liveinternet.ru/images/...richard_bach__jonathan_livingston_seagull.pdf

Love...

 

Hey darling. I know hpow easy it is to tell someone just to put their shit aside and enjoy this one lifetime they have. I know it way too well... I've suffered of Anorexia, Bulimia, Depression and just had a lot of issues with coping with this life in general. For no apparent reason. It's not an easy road to travel, it's a rocky one. But I personally believe I've found an understanding with myself finally after all of these long years. I'm 25 now and I'm constantly working on my self-esteem and battling against not going down the same road again...

I tried medication for my depression and I believe it helped me through the roughest part. I also felt it sucked my spirit out of me, so I stopped once I felt I was strong enough to cope with everything again on my own, without the meds. After I quit the meds I've been feeling really good...

I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years and understood how poisonous the relationship was to me. I also understood (with the help of my amazing therapist) that I'm just one of those people who feel this life very intensely, in bright colours and passionate emotions. She told me something no-one ever did before... everyone was always trying to change me, make me "normal". She told me: "have you ever thought that maybe you're just really emotional and sensitive, and that is excactly what makes you YOU. And it's brilliant and beautiful. Don't ever care what other people say... they don't know what they're talking about. You're just not as easy to programm as the orhers are." This was life changing to me I realized I can be just me, I don't need to change or be something. I am me, and that's enough.

Our minds are being programmed to believe we're not beautiful enough, not intelligent enough, not enough of anything. That's just a big fat lie We just are. That's it. We can decide to waste our lives worrying about things that really don't mean anything or we can enjoy every breath we take. We're just atoms, cells and star dust, put together by a funny coincidence. We're the only animals that can't just be happy, because we over-analyze everything... but we shouldn't. Days go by and time flies anyways. We will die one day anyways. So better just enjoy what we have, darling.

Tell me if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here.

Peace out,

Emma

 

that is true about some drugs...Though I find depending on the drug the opposite can be true.