So I'm new to this forum. I need some advice. I'm 18. I've always really liked the idea of free love, it seems more comfortable to me than long term monogamous relationships and all that. Problem is, I was raped last summer when I was 17. that's been the only "sexual" experience of my life. In terms of consensual sex, I'm still a virgin with zero experience. Fortunately I've gone to therapy and I've done a lot of healing and I feel 1000% better than I did earlier this year :2thumbsup: in fact I feel better than I have in my life. So I'm very attracted to this guy at my university. he's super friendly, confident, likable. he's into free love and I'm positive he's into me too. We flirt a lot, dance a lot, but I've always chickened out into doing anything further. Mostly I'm half afraid he will be turned off by my inexperience. The women he's into are usually at least as experienced as he is. sooo I'm not quite sure how to proceed. any advice is great. thank you!
I can relate to what you might be feeling. I was raped when I was 14 and again when I was 19. Just months after the last one, I met and fell for a guy who was my first real sex experience by choice. We were together for a little over a year. He taught me how to respond to his touch, and what an orgasm was. Forty years later we are friends again, and I never told him about the rapes until recently. I think he just thought I was inexperienced, which was true enough. You don't need to tell him about your past unless you want to, or unless he asks. It's been my experience that most people have a hard time hearing about being raped and many guys even more so. My advice... Relax. Enjoy the moment. Try to not worry about what is going to happen next or how you are going to feel or react. Read about sex on this site and other sites online (I use google alerts for that, too). Learn about your body, but don't compare it to others. Don't be afraid about your inexperience, many men are actually turned on about that. Let go of your inhibitions and fears, but if something creates a bad trigger, tell him about it and why. Have fun!!
