I started taking .25 one really bad weekend. I went to Urgent Care to get immediate counseling for something that happened and the counselor gave me 6 .25 mgs. until I could get to my regular doctor. My doctor then gave me 90 .5's with a refil each month and I took one of those a night, and then two, and then a couple in the day. Soon I was taking 10+ Mgs. a day. I had a really bad thing happen to me and at the time I couldn't see how it would eventually make me a stronger person or even how I would get through it. I used it as an excuse to get more and more pills and to have people close to me excuse my excessive behavior. I would take 10 of them and drink a bottle of champagne. I got so bad I started taking my whole RX bottle with me and would then go to bevmo and get mini bottles of champagne to drink in the car with the xanax because 'traffic stressed me out'. I was hooked on champagne as well because of the high they had together. I would find the first guy at the club who had a bucket at his table and start chatting it up. The sad part is that people liked me so much more than. I had tons of friends, lots of boyfriends (at the same time, which I do feel very bad about) and was contracted out at least once a week to speak at a conference or training. As soon as I stopped it and became less social a lot of people stopped calling. It's amazing to see who your true friends are and how a drug can make you so different from who you are, morally and even physically. I wasn't beautiful then- on the inside or the out and I cannot say how ashamed I am at that whole period of my life. The worst part is that I used to work with kids then, sometimes driving the company van with kids in it. I really feel like crap about that now. I mean what kind of person takes care of kids and teaches other people how to while they're loaded? A lot of people take it for panick attacks and do not get addicted. I am just telling you how I did. I really looked like I had it all together from the outside too. Perhaps even more then than now. I would just be careful and take the lowest dose you can. I haven't had a panick attack or bad anxiety in a long time, but when I do I take some kava kava or valarian. It works just as well but without the high or addiction factor.
i also take a med called buspar for anxiety, it has no addiction or high to it at all, it just changes chemicals in your brain to fix the problems.. but i still have the xanax as a crutch just in case i might need it, which i think helps just knowing that i have some. anyways thanks for tha stories, they seem to give me a good head up..
I dont know what mg they were, but some were blue and some were orange. I took 2 or 3 or 6 at once because the chick I got them from worked at a pharmacy and stole them so she sold them like super-cheap. I was never prescribed them, and I definitely abused them (this was over 4 years ago btw) I am not bashing them at all, I'm sure they work well for people who need them, but I really didn't and actually ever since then I have had some anxiety, which I didn't have before I used them. Just be careful
