I love him more than anything but...

I am really confused. I have known him since I was fifteen and I have always loved him. He is 26 and I first dated him when I was 16 and he was 23 and we were together for 4 months. He broke up with me because he didn't know what he wanted at the time. I was almost 18 when he asked me to be with him again. We were then together for 3 months. We live in a small town so rumors that aren't true get started very easily. So a girl tried to kiss him and he pushed her away but the rumor got started that he cheated on me. So I broke up with him. I felt something wasn't right so three months after I broke up with him he was at my graduation and saw me graduate. He left a note on my car and I thought it was the sweetest thing. I went to the beach and then on my way back he called me and asked me to come hang out with him and his friend. Well a few days later we talked and got everything straightened out (I also talked to a few people) and realized he had never cheated on me. So we got back together and June 20 will be a year for us. My problem is, he seems depressed and most the time he will watch porn while I am asleep instead of coming upstairs and having sex with me. It seems like he isn't as interested in me as he used to be...I mean we used to have sex all the time....I love him more then I ever have loved anyone else and I do know what love is... Could you guys please help??

 

You need to talk with him about this. Find out what his thoughts are.

Why do you love him?

Peace and love

 

becuase he is a great guy, he treats me right , and I feel right with him... I am just a little confused with the whole situation...

 

What makes him a great guy?

Peace and love

 

You've been together almost a year. Things start to die down then. New couples have sex like 5 times a day. Once he starts to feel a 'real' connection with you the physical stuff will likely die down.
According to Cosmo.

 

that would make me uncomfortable. I got lucky with my boyfriend in that he didn't even have a porn collection when I met him. He thinks it's bullshit when you can get the real thing. We watch it together occassionally. But if I woke up and he was beating off to it... I'd be confused and feel rejected. But thats our relationship... apparently alot of people like looking at it (alot) even when they have it. I do not understand that though. Porn is bullshit.

 

You have to talk with him, if he looses interest in sex, try new things. You won't find the answer to your problem on internet, but you will find it in the conversation with him. Just be open, and don't show that you're frustated.

 

i say this all the time communication is the key, porn doesn't bother me but if we never had sex i'd be very upset.remember to love doesn't mean to be loved back, in other words if you love someone you can't be guaranteed that they will love you back.tell him to turn off the porn and quit acting like a teenager and talk to you, if it continues leave him

 

easy for you to say... He has a lot of hidden emotions... He can blow up really easy. Not towards me or anything but it scares me because I don't want him to hurt himself.

 

I really hope you mean what you say when you said that he treats you right.

I have no problem personally with porn if we watch it together... or that we have favourites, types or actors/actresses, but when the fixation starts where he makes comments repeatedly about certain actresses or tries to make me up into something I'm not or don't want to be... that's pushing it a little too far.

Sounds like there's a lot on his mind and the porn is a form of escapism for him. He may not even want to risk himself making love to you because ... guys too can get all vulnerable before, during, after sex. Mostly afterwards.

I don't think you should sacrifice yourself and tolerate being neglected for PORN of all things though. Talk it out. If he refuses to listen, he's an asshole. If he listens but doesn't respect your wishes or try to come to a compromise, he's still an asshole. And selfabsorbed, selfish and arrogant. Then it's time to perhaps take down the sugar coating a notch and see things for what they are.


I hope it works out.

 

being in a realationship with someone who could potentialy hurt himself imo is not a good relationship to be in. if he would hurt himself whats to say he won't hurt you?

 

it's not the same. someone who hurts themselves does not correlate to hurting others. People who punish themselves usually elevate other people. This isn't black or white.