i live with a slob

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by nimh, Jun 4, 2004.

  1. nimh

    nimh ~foodie~

    and it's driving me craaaaaazy

    vent follows: read at your own risk...
    <edited>

    AND...the worst thing is that i cant really do anything about it. i'm not into threats and ultimatums. i'm not going to nag and bitch cause that never does any good. i'm sick to death of cleaning up after him, but if i dont clean up after him, then I have to live in a mess all the time. i dunno. if i specifically and nicely ask him to do certain things (ie, load the dishwasher and put it on), he'll do it. but he can just tornado thru the house and make such a huge mess in such a short period of time. he makes more of a mess than the 2 year old!!! LOL, whaddaya do?:rolleyes: :eek:
     
  2. Alexandria

    Alexandria Member

    tough one. I lived with sloppy roomates that were just as bad! Ciggeratte butts all over the floor...old food still on the stove......I would clean all the time and each time hope that they would take notice and try, JUST TRY , to keep things sort of clean. I dont mean like, neat, I am not a neat freak...but not dirty and gross! It actually got to the point where I just couldnt take it anymore and had to move out and go back to my parents home because it was just THAT bad ( roaches began to take over and once they are in, its hard to get them out). You could mabye have a talk with him...just like a sit down "heres the deal" sort of talk. I mean, he has to respect the fact that you live there too. Thats probably the most you can do. Either he will make an effort to do better or he just doesnt give a shit (jackass) and you will either have to put up with it or move out. I really feel for you...it is making me remember all the nasty stuff I had to pick up (not to mention all the nasty porn he left around the house!) Ugh. I hope things work out for you soon...I am so sorry:(
     
  3. nimh

    nimh ~foodie~

    thanks for the empathy, Alexandria. :)

    i've done the sit down and try to solve the problem talk. i think that he just doesnt really understand that life doesnt have to be messy. <shrug> i dunno. he grew up in a really chaotically messy house. well, i did too, but i learned how to be organized and how to pick up after myself.
     
  4. Rainbow Tears

    Rainbow Tears Member

    My boyfriend is a big slob too-- He gets it from his mother that I can tell stories about that you would never ever believe! Like how I drove her to the doctors and she starts to feel under the cracks of my seats and finds old m&ms and EATS THEM! and she is a nurse!!!!!

    But I just told my boyfriend that it is a REAL turnoff and if he could please try to improve--- he sorta did until i became a little messy.. now were pigs together
     
  5. backtothelab

    backtothelab Senior Member

    See, you gotta give him the "here's the deal" talk, but with a little ultimatum twist to it. Don't come out and say, "clean or get the fuck out!", but kinda hint at it, in a much nicer way. I'm not a slob, but a bit of a pack rat, and i know how you feel. It gets overwhelming.
     
  6. Spinner

    Spinner Member

    Mom, is that you?! :eek:
     
  7. nimh

    nimh ~foodie~

    LOL spinner, see that's why i vent it on a message board. i dont want to be his 'mom'.


    ps, go clean the avacado peels out of the sink please.

    backtothelab, i cant do ultimatums. cause i know i'm not going to follow thru on them. it's just not me.

    Rainbow Tears~that would be the ultimate solution....become pigs together. i just caaaaaaaaant do it. noooooooooooooooooooo.
     
  8. Spinner

    Spinner Member

    Do I have to?
     
  9. nimh

    nimh ~foodie~

    of course you dont have to.
     
  10. Spinner

    Spinner Member

    :eek: , Oh thank GOD!!!
    I thought I would have to actually do work!
     
  11. metro

    metro self-banned

    that's cute spinner[​IMG]

    nimh, I empathize. One of my former roommates was pretty slobby too, but he didn't care so I was the one doing all the cleaning.[​IMG] It wears you out! I'm not a neat freak either, but I like to at least keep things clean, maybe not tidy, but you know-no mold or smelly garbage or stinky laundry, etc...
     
  12. kier

    kier I R Baboon

    hmmm....the thing is, if you cant punnish him for not doing it, reward him for doing it

    treat him if he's good, cook him dinner if he washes/dries up, do his washing if he hoovers the house, make him do his share by bribing him :D
     
  13. nimh

    nimh ~foodie~

    Thanks for the empathy metro. :)


    kier, you're a genius!! positive reinforcement! :D what a wonderful idea. :) i use that with the 2 year old all the time, i dont know why i didnt think of it for the husband too. LOL
     
  14. kier

    kier I R Baboon

    thanks for the giggles :) hope it works!!!
     
  15. seabass42003

    seabass42003 Member

    didnt you know this before you moved in with person? i could never live in that kind of crud no way. not a smooth guy
     
  16. nimh

    nimh ~foodie~

    love is blind?

    naw, he's just getting lazy and sloppy. he wasnt always this bad.
     
  17. MrsA-Camper

    MrsA-Camper Member

    cry

    ok, so maybe that's emotional blackmail. But sometimes, we have so many people staying with us, 2 rugrats of our own, both boys, and my husband who insists on throwing his cig butts in the sink - yuck - that I cant help but get totally upset when I get home from work and the place is a wreck.

    so we do the "quick pick up" - instead of doing specified chores we all just work as fast as we can for 10 - 15 minutes. If there's only 2 of you, that's only a half hour's worth of cleaning. At my house, there's always 4 of us, sometimes as many as 8 of us, so in 15 minutes 4 can get an hour's worth of chores done. 8 = two hours. When I get them motivated to "GO!" and we all run around like crazy, it works! of course, I always get stuck with the really ucky chores like cleaning the fridge....
     
  18. has something happened to him that could possibly caused him to go into a depression by chance? my step dad goes through stages like that. or does he just not know ne better you say u ask him to do stuff and he does it well maybe if y'all like had 2 days a week to clean up the whole house, dishes laundry, etc. just asking him to do it will later cause him to get mad but just have set days where maybe both of you do work. and if he works with you the whole time give him a reward of sorts, maybe even just a heartfealt compliment. you cannot stay quiet it will drive you insane and soon you will share the same distaste for him as i share with my step dad and that would be bad.
     
  19. ganja fairy

    ganja fairy Member

    are you upset because hes a slob or is it because he doesnt apprieciate that you clean up his mess?

    my boyfriend is a slob too, but i dont really mind cleaning up his (horrible foul clam chowder bleeeck) mess unless he doesnt acknowledge that my veggie ass is awesome for dealing with his rotting meat collection. he always does though, plus he cooks for me.

    on the other hand, my dad is also a slob, and living with him is hell because i always clean, and instead of thanking me he will say absolutely nothing and then bitch if its not clean! so of course i stay with my boyfriend most of the time.

    i totally understand your frustration, and i think its probably that youre feeling under apprieciated thats getting to you more than the actual mess. perhaps he doesnt understand that? let him know how you feel, cuz he needs to realize that there are more enjoyable ways for you to spend your time than collecting his stanky socks. i hope things work out and he starts sharing the chores!
     

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