I laugh at myslef and all of You

I have been raised a JW Christain my entire life.I knew nothing else.But I never questioned it until I was 13. Ha.But my question had answer.But I liked learing about my faith.It was a new thing uptil that point it was just somthing I followed blindly.I had considered myslef a hippie for a while a bit before then.But I like being a hippie.I then got into it very deeply.I also wondered what other pepole beleaved.So I resurched Islam, Wicca, and Taoism and Budhsim and Hinduism.I still kept my belifs but.There is one question i still cant answer."Why was God so wrathful in the OT" I found Buddhism and I liked what it had to say.And because of the unaswerable question I became a Buhhdist. I think it was best that I became a buddhist for that amount of Time.Ill get back to this later.

Also I became fasicnated with philosphy.The hippie philosopy as well.And so I became absesd with 3 concepts because of Buhhdism and My philospohy studyies.

Freedom
Inner Peace
Enlightenment


Freedom:The living with out obligations and realizing free will
Inner Peace: A contentment with the universe.
Enlightenment:Buddhist verson: Cuting off of the spirtual craving that we all feel at all times.Being Atman and only Atman
Real verson:?????

Now anyway There was one other reson I am a bit unhappy with JW Christainty.I am not allowed to date until Im ready for marrige.I know its stupid but I.....I want to...come on Im in High School...every one dates...I...Its so temporay and fleeding but I still....

While I was a Buddhist I was fascinated with a 4 subject

Realtiy

I did ton of resurch on this. Carl Jung,Timothy Leary, John C Lilly were major infuences in this. I then got it.

Our Reality is our own prectpions.It is an illusion.We are all unconuiosly connected to each other which shapes our general world veiw. Then Ultimate Reality God gives shape to everything else that makes up what we see. I call this The Kaicat Theroy. God is Allways in balcnace and is at unity with all things.

I be back to continue my story tomarrow.You can talk about what I posted so far.
Peace and Love

Art,

End of part one.

 

So Im back

One day after being a Buhhdist for a mouth I wondered

"Am I on the right path?Did I leave the Turth?Am I just lying to myself about being able to achive Freedom,Enlightenment, and Peace?"

So that night I prayed to Jehovah."Dissprove Buhhdism" I asked him.

2 day later I went to a Christain meeting.It was about Buhhdism.It showed it for what it is.

The Goal of Buhhdist Enlightenment is to cut off all craving and diser.This is done via Meditaion which wipes the mind clean.You become a Blank slate.You are no longer a human.I dont think this is a good thing.Also what happens to a Enlightened person when they die?The Buhhda said he did not know.He the supposed enlightened one did not know what would happen after he died.If your not born what then.More than likely the speaker(who happend to my Grandfather) said "He would be just be absorbed." Buhhdism is spirtual sucide(hmmm is that why it appeled to me?)

So I came back to the Truth.I think it was nessary for me to be a Buhhdist for a time.During the time when I did meditate I was in a state of non being.I was at peace.But I just came out of that peace in 15 min. At that time I did feel at one with the universe.

But I see now that the reson I felt at one was because we all are at one with the universe.We are all at one with God.God is Reality itself.The only thing actually real is he.We come form him.He made us with his power that comes form him. The breth that God brethed into us is destoryed at death.With the rest of us. There is existance(God) and nonexsitance(Death).God is so great he can destory stuff into no longer being with him and therefore nonexsitance.

This all posed me with a new question.

"How do I achive inner peace and enlightement?What is enlightemnet?"

We can achive inner peace by being ourselfes.

http://hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=113041

that is what I think inner peace is.

As for enlightement I have a hunch that its being aware of the unity of all things every lucid moment.But I dont really know.I do know that it is a kind of higher wisdom.

Ill post the last part later.
Peace and Love,

Art

end of part 2

 

Um, Art? Your grandfather was the speaker, don't you think he knew you were looking into Bhuddism?

 

nope I told no one

 

I never told my parents I smoked pot, but ...

 

no my paraents never knew anything.Really.They would have said somthing.Besides I think the fact that my Grandfather was going to speak that was arranged before I became a buhhdist.

 

Allrighty then. I'm not sure your grandfathers take on buhdism is accurate though. I don't know that much about it myself so I can't say for sure but I think I detect a slant.

 

Still it was only 2 days later after I prayed.That is the power of God I think.

 

I wonder what would happen if you prayed to Jehovah to disprove christainity to you.

 

that is the power of coincidence i think, besides didnt you say his speaking was arranged before you bcame budhist? exactly how long were you budhist? a few weeks a couple months?
meditation can bring you lasting inner peace & enlightenment & freedom, but it takes time, at first the feelings fade after 15 minutes, but once you reach that certain state, your there for life

the problem with christianity is its like a band aid you ask for jc to come into you & "save " you & flash bang boom your enlightened & saved..true enlightenment doesnt work that way, its a proccess, a journey into the depths of your soul, not a external force that you look to outside yourself, the truth is within you, always has been always will be, just waiting for you to tap into it

 

i've prayed many times to jehova & christ to prove christianity to me, begging for an answer, wanting to beleive there was sometjhing real there..& was only answered with sillince..but when i chose to seek my own truth i found a magical connection with all things, & all my answers were right there.

 

i think it's good he can laugh at his slef, because my slef just isn't very funny.

 

I've always thought your slef was pretty funny.

 

yeah, but you're kinda special...

i've always wondered, and i'm including myself in this statement, that if the people who never hear anything from god dont' hear anything because they're really not good enough. you know what i mean? that he doesn't bother because he knows you're just gonna fuck up no matter what he says...

 

Yeah probably.

 

Or maybe you just don't recognise his voice.

Or maybe He figures you're doing OK as you are.

Or maybe your line was buzy.

 

i really got a huge kick out of Bruce Almighty. it was funny.

 

I wonder if archeologists a cpl thousand years from now will come acroos the DVD and start worshipping Morgan Freedman.

 

or the dvd itself...

 

The final Part


Now I came back to these forums and I was told that it could have been a couincedence and nothing really happened.I did consider this.So I looked at the only religon that I had not looked into to much.

Hinduism

I like it.I have to say.It makes sense.I have looked into Krishna espeahally.But the thing is I still think I'm JW at heart. 3 days ago I said "Why not try it out."

2 days ago I went steped into a bees nest by acident.I have had a life long fear of bees.I got stung 15 times.Now because I have a phobea I ran away.I prayed to Jehovah not Kirshna to help me.I thought god was punnishing me. But looking at the bible now I can see he would not do that.But still I atuomaticaly prayed to god.I think that might be sign that I still want to be a JW really.

Im just wondering where to go next.

I come here one day and I see the Chirstains and the Athiests fighting and aruging. Then I reflect on my current spirtual predicmant and the point in my life.I'm not supposed to have deep thoughts when i'm 14 am I heh. So I just felt like laughing.....at all of us.....look at us we argue we seek turth we can never be commpletely sure and we live.

All is one One is All

We are just a specks of dust in the universe.But we are thinking specks of dust right eh



Peace and Love,

art