Do you ever, or have you ever, just had to take a deep breathe and tell yourself that you know the truth and that's what matters?... To me that is the real test of the strength you have internally because it's really good to be happy with your life and proud of yourself when there is no conflict (and I don't have any conflict in my life usually because my life consists of people who are healthy for me). But when someone says something to you and you realize they are just being mean and malicious and there is nothing you can say or do to tell or show them otherwise... that's when I have to step back and ask myself what really matters? - Is it what I know and how things really are? If the answer is that then everything is fine. I think it's easier said then done though to put things in perspective but once you have alleviated yourself of that mental baggage it feels really good to once again feel secure in yourself.
I don't know THE truth, I know MY truth. In conflict.....do you have to convince others of YOUR truth. That is the test between someone that is at peace and someone that has their ego all wrapped up in their choices.
I know what you mean. But I'm talking about when someone attacks you as a person with something that you know isn't true. In that case, there is only one truth...and it should be enough to know what it is without having to prove to anyone else. (i'm still learning on that one if it's something that offends me or an attack on me as a parent, but when it all comes down to it, i can look at myself and say "you're fine, don't worry")... As for people just disagreeing on the way of...well, anything...how to do anything in the world. I've realized you aren't gonna change many people's minds and people aren't usually gonna change yours and that's okay. People can disagree and things be right FOR THEM. I'm like that w my mom... a live and let live attitude (on religion, politics, etc.).
Yes, if people draw conclusions about me that are untrue, I can let it roll off because I know the truth. Clearly their opinion is premature. But you know....if it's someone whom I want in my life, I will put the effort in to listen to their perspective about me, why they came to that specific conclusion, and explain myself to further understanding.
yeh, frankly i find it piss easy. i really don't have a competitive edge, i enjoy a good argument as much as the next person, but if i can't make poeple see things my way, and their seeing things my way or not makes no difference, then i'm really content to walk away. i know some people just can't let an argument go until they've won. also, being passive-aggressive is not the same as walking away. when make baseless assumptions about me. fuck those people, if i care about them enough to make 'em change their views then i might give it a shot, but chances are that someone who'd reach a conclusion so quickly is someone im more than happy not knowing.
^^^ Yeah, that's good. Anyone who doesn't matter to me can say whatever they want about me and I'll just be like "okay" -Bring my child into it though and my blood pressure goes up... Until I have to remind myself it doesn't matter what anyone else says. What matters is what I know and what I do. (oh and i hate arguing. i refuse to do it but i'll debate the hell out of a topic with someone if they are interesting enough to debate back).
Agreed, passive-aggressive is not the same as walking away. I'd rather have screaming in my face then put up with the covert attacks that can happen over and indefinite period of time.
It's kinda odd how in real life I don't have any...arguments anymore. At all. Life is just so, non dramatic. But that's probably because I have very few ppl in my daily life- two friends, extended family, my son n hubby.. and than some acquaintances that are healthy for me. I used to sometimes get a lot more drama about things in my life until I decided it's just not worth it. Life is too short to be upset about things.
i fucking hate when people say things like "i'm going to be the big person and walk away" you AREN'T walking away, you're simply continuing or attempting to end the argument with an overtly passive agressive statement. walking away means walking away. don't even stop to explain what you're doing, just get the fuck out. actions speak louder than words.
What I like is having discussions where I'm not in agreement with others, and still having those relationships solid because we're both just sharing thoughts and opinions, and we have the maturity to accept that we can be different without risking what we have.
Yes, they think it's the most upstanding thing to do, when the reality is that they''re at a loss to come up with unemotional rational thoughts. They'll then take it out on you in some other way because they knew that it was weak.
Just this morning a neighbour who often keeps ranting about how long I sleep and my work ethics and does not even know who I am. So, I had to just say to myself tht as someone who does know myself quite well that this neghbour does not know shit.
I think I know a truth that isn't just my truth -- that there is a beauty in life and nature that goes beyond petty squabbles. And I do have to reaffirm this truth in myself every day. I stay away from arguments, because I know I'm just being stupid and feel horrible whenever I've put someone down, even if they might have deserved it. When you're on your death bed, I wager all of this chaos takes on a different light. If you find peace, anyway.
Oh well. Fuck it. I'd like to see what you do when you're trying to calm yourself down after someone you don't even know brings up your children in a conversation in an aggressive/aggressive fashion. This thread is old. Let it die. You are being aggressive by bringing it back when no one is having an issues ..... Next...
