ok, my marriage is going down the toilet to the point where we're seeing other people. i'd started falling for a friend i'd been casually seeing, and he utterly rejected me. this hurts a lot; we had a lot in common and i was utterly crazy over him. my husband went out bar-crawling the other night in the hopes of getting laid and didn't get any. well now he's acting like since he didn't score and my might-have-been rejected me, everything is going to go back to normal. he's been very sweet to me, and is trying to be nicer to the kids, although he still says things i really wish he wouldn't. he still won't see a counsellor, even though i told him it was the only chance he had. before we were first married, we had rules for fighting. he was able to admit he was wrong and appologize, and that made it easier for me to do the same. we agreed to no yelling or name-calling or accusations. well somewhere along the way, the rules were abandoned. yelling and name-calling has become the norm. one morning my son asked for a glass of water and he freaked out at him, called him a brat, etc. as my son sobbed into my arms i told my husband to back of and stop acting so mean, and he just flipped me off. and i thought, well now he finally shows me what he really thinks of me and our family. and the love died right there and hasn't come back. the main reason why we haven't split already is because we simply can't afford to. i have no marketable skills and could not earn enough to keep a roof over the kids heads and be a real mother to them, and he barely makes enough to keep this place. we can't afford a lawyer. so he tries to pretend nothing's wrong. i've told him i want him to get counselling (i'm seeing a counsellor myself) but he think's he can just "try to be nicer" and everything will be wonderful. lately he's wanted sex, and even though it's been a long time and i'm so horny even the landlord is looking good, i don't want him to touch me. i like him. but i don't love him anymore the way he wants me to, and i don't want to have sex with him. what do i do? how do i talk to him about this?