I just don't know what to do regarding my issues

Generally speaking a suck at sex (limited experience so obviously i'm going to suck). I have various issues that seem to come to light when i got a girlfriend

- I take forever to cum (9 times out of 10 i simply don't cum, or even really stay hard; i can get hard fine but maintaining it is tricky), it's made me not really want to bother with sex
- To me sex is a skill to be learned and perfected; i attach no emotions to it at all
- My own pleasure is so far down on my list of priorities i'd much rather clean the bathroom that think about it.
- Sexting seems to be the only thing that reliably gets me going
- When things do get physical the only thing that really works is a BJ or HJ; intercourse does NOTHING for me, even if i'm insanely turned on before hand
- To me i feel like it's a burden to be pleasured; it's how i've always been

My girlfriend knows about most of these, however as she was a virgin before me i've taken it on myself to be the 'guru' as it were and truth be told sometimes i actually don't want to be physically intimate with anyone and just stick to sexting and 'mental pleasure'

I don't have the money right now to see a sex therapist; however i am in general therapy as i have other personal issues i'm trying to work through

 

Just wondering if you and your partner have tried different positions? That may help.

Guys also tend to be visual creatures. Perhaps you partner wearing sexy lingerie could help ?

I would just try different things and make a mental note of whether it helped or not .

 

Positions are tricky due to height differences (also turns out in comparison the the rest of my body my legs are very long, she doesn't have a lot of height in her legs)

Lingere is nice to look at but doesn't really excite me in that way, mainly cos i tend to take it off her quickly anyway. I feel kinda weird just looking at it

It's hard for me to kinda switch off and enjoy things (in general) my mind is always racing with stuff

 

Your problems are not your abilities or desires, but rather that you think there is something wrong with either of those things. We like what we like. So it is for you, and so it is for everyone.

Unless you are trying to produce a child now and today with your girlfriend, so what if you don't like PIV sex? Most women don't regularly reach orgasm that way without additional direct clitoral stimulation. Only about 15% do. Many men don't prefer it either. There's nothing wrong with that.

Your goal shouldn't be to meet some textbook average for duration of erection or to win some award for quality of sex, but rather to find harmony with your girlfriend. Your posting is conspicuously lacking regarding what she wants or expects from your sex together. Find something that works for the two of you. Inexperience is no excuse. You are exploring together and finding some things you'd like to repeat and others that you don't.

About 20 percent of couples are sexless, meaning they have sex less than 10 times per year. Maybe you and she will find harmony together in that. Maybe you aren't a good match, especially if her sexual interests are far different from your own. Either way, stop trying to like something you don't like or feel bad about your personal combination of preferences and priorities.

Couples work this out together. You will also.

 

Not for me, my end goal is the give the girl the best orgasm possible. Harmony isn't really a thing for me, you can achieve that without sex

TBH in my experience feelings just get in the way, better off without them factoring into decisions

 

Also regarding the "work this out together" part. I've been with her for 2 years i shoulda worked it out by now

 

How is having inharmonious sex harmony? Not enjoying the sex you're having isn't harmony. No woman is going to have her best orgasm possible with someone who isn't enjoying what he's doing. Your stated objective is unrealistic, and your actions are self-defeating.

You use the word "issues" but don't consider your negative perception of those things and characterization of them to be "issues" to be feelings. They're feelings. If you didn't feel bad about the situation you created for yourself here, you wouldn't be saying you have "issues" to deal with.

A "burden to be pleasured" isn't pleasure; it's a burden. Moreover, you say it's a "feeling," and you've always felt this. You haven't put them aside, but are merely pretending you don't have them, even as you say you do and wallow in them.

As far as working it out together, yes, you should be working it out with your partner, not asking random strangers on an anonymous internet forum to attend a pity party.

I hope you realize that you're arguing with yourself. You're wasting your time here arguing with yourself. It's clear that my time pointing you in a constructive direction is time wasted, so I won't waste any more of it.