I just cut myself...

Each day I can feel it swallow,
inside something they took from me.
I don't feel your deathly ways.
Each day i feel so hollow, inside always beating me,
You'll never see, so come dance with me.

 

I know how you felt. I though i might be gay a while ago, which made me quite depressed for some reason (i dont know why, i have nothing agasints gay people) but i think it was the fear of rejection from my family, (e.g they often joked about having a gay son and my dad didnt seem to be a fan of the idea) or my friends.
I have also hurt myself out of pure anger and thinking i am a failure to myself and my family. I have choked myself until i almost blacked out on numerous occasions. another thing i did was to beat myself by punching myself in the face. (thats why my nose is a bit fucked now)

But dont hurt yourself. It doesnt help. IF you are feeling depressed, do one of those 156 things someone else posted, or write your own list of things that you like doing. for me what worked was playing halo 2 a hell of a lot and getting pretty good at it. I liked knowing that i was good at something. (nerdy i know). It was fun and it kept me busy.
Something that i did aswell was talk to my friends about how they would feel if i was gay and most of them said that they would love it.

So, self harming isnt the answer, and if you are gay, so what?? you cant change who you are and you should love yourself and your body.

 

nice one, eagle.

and katie that's a nice list of stuff.

i used to cut and i know how uber hard it is to quit. i tried to quit so many times, but keeping a record of how long it's been since i last cut, is what got me to stop. if i'd gone three days, i'd just challenge myself to go a week. and after that week, i'd challenge myself to go two weeks. i've been cut-free for almost 9 months now and it feels really good to say that. the record is what keeps me from cutting again. maybe that could help anybody else.

 

used to cut...and it sounds wired but it sort of felt like some of the pressure I was feeling just went away...But I stopped because I realized that their are other ways to get angery or sad...But honestly cutting has become a fad...its ridiculous... My ex boyfriends ex girlfriend...like went to my best friend and was like...omg i cut myself in front of other people because he broke up with her... just for attention...mind youu it was like pin holes.

Im just really sick of people such as my example...huge fad its lame. But cutting wont get you anywhere...wont solve any problem... Just when you feel that bad....find something else to get angry at...A pillow is nice to throw.....turn on music read a book (i do either of those...i find it helps) But I hope you feel better and dont hurt your self again

(((((((hugs)))))))

 

i have been cutting since i was 16...i'm now 24...it's a hard to stop when you start...i won't go into why i started...but now i regret it...i can't even look at my legs/arms w/o seeing horrible scars...i would hate to see it...but you need to find someone to talk to...this can only get worse...i know cuz i have been there...