I just can't seem to get over partners "high number"

if you wanna fuck other people you dont really wanna be with this girl forever. shes just your comfort zone. ive felt the same way as you before, turned out it was because i didnt actually love the girl I was with. you dont know what love is yet if you dont see that, honestly you should just break up with her and go fuck other girls.

 

Oh, for Pete's fucking sake!

 

The opening post is 10 years old

 

It is and I suppose the dummy is still as stupid as he was in 2012. One size fits all.

 

I know the OP hasn't been seen since June 2012 but this is something I have struggled with and still do. Completely agree with yazzz about it stemming from a sort of need for validation. My number is 1 and my wife's 20, 30 maybe 50 I don't know. I talked to counsellors who just told me not to think about it. I don't like that answer but I love her with all my heart so it's something I have to accept.

 

As a former relationship counsellor myself ,the way I would look at it is all these partners are now Ex's and Ex's for a reason as she has now found the right person in her life ie you . The experience has probably made her a better lover from which you are now benefitting . For me that's a win win situation .

 

Quite the opposite. She's done things with her exes that she won't do with me: oral, sex outdoors, in public and at work. She's way less adventurous, afraid she'll lose her job which could be true but it still sucks that she won't do any of those things with me. On top of that she had sex far more frequently with her exes. Now life is much more stressful, we have a baby, bills to pay and all the mundane things that make life so much less exciting than when she was in her teens and 20s. That's what makes it so hard to get over, it's like they got the best of her and I get what's left. She's now overweight and carries the baggage the breakups saddled her with.

 

Oh my I am sorry . This sounds like something you need to discuss with your partner as I am detecting a certain amount of unhappiness in your relationship . If you cant resolve your differences then perhaps it could be better that you go back to your counsellor to see if they can work out a resolution.

 

Life is tough. It's that simple. There comes a time when we can't do what we used to do when we were young. I remember girlfriends where I'd just fuck them like mad until we were both in states that can't even be described as ecstasy. Now I have to accept the fact that if I have another long-term relationship, I'm probably not going to be able to do that. Not for a long time. anyway.

I used to be in the exact same position as you. I had a girlfriend who had what I thought was probably more experience than me but then she didn't fuck her way around Australia and have sex in incredible hot-springs and the like as I did. She'd had many intimate partners and it also used to bother me. Life isn't all about sex and if you're not dependent on it, the sex-life will probably go to levels you never dreamed of.

Just love her. Love is what matters. Companionship. I'm pushing 40 and maybe just about to get in to a relationship. I don't care if I only get laid once a month. For some couples that's just life. I got my hand to get me by anyway

Love who she is and how she got to where she is.

 

It's all cultural/religious mentality that has been tattooed inside your skin. You are programed to be the first.This is a fucked way of thinking for mankind. We are all equipped with penis and vaginas that are meant to be used. They don't wear out. If your entire focus is the past use of her vagina and mouth you are with her for the wrong reasons. If that's all you think about and still want to be with her maybe it's best if you see a shrink to adjust and deprogram your rigid biblical focus.