I have no friends. Think I may become a recluse.

Very wise and helpful post. I think, anyway.

 

Orly? I think i may be luckier then i think.

 

Well i agree basing your life on what you percieve others percieve as normal is not the most progressive attitude. Having said that, if you feel like you want more friends (to the OP) then there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with looking around at social groups and thinking "i'd like that".

Truth is though, you wont really care unless thats what you want, and if thats what you want GO FOR IT! there is nothing wrong with wanting to expand your social circle or feeling lonely. Though i totally agree that there is no point basing your needs on what is suppose to be normal, there is no need to deny them either because it is normal.

So my friend (OP) the solution is a balance between feeling ok about what you have and ok about wanting more, Good luck

 

@arthur itis: How very buddhist of you lol. I completely see what you are saying.
Something I need to work on. Self.

@Vanilla Gorilla: I can see what you are saying. I think I am going to keep a look out for that one person.

@MaccaByrd: I hope you gain something from this thread too!

@Xac: I am in conflict with myself, I think. On the one hand, it would be nice and probably a big benefit for my life. On the other hand, the process of acquiring and maintaining of the relationship would be difficult to handle.


I need to process this. [Meditate]

 

Nice post, arthur itis!

 

Well i guess the only peice of advice i feel certain about is, what ever choice you make in regards to this, is ok and a perfectly ok way to be, if it's what you want.

 

That's right. It's all about making a deliberate, rational and loving choice, hopefully free of neurotic dependencies.

It's always preferable to have someone to share things with, though I believe to a large extent in the existential sense of aloneness in the universe as our default mode.

It's nice if you can find your soul mate, if there is such a person. If there isn't, then we just have to make the best of what's available, or comes our way.

But emotional dependencies tend to spoil both the search process, and the eventuality.

Work on yourself first. Then, when you find someone, you'll be better equipped to give without having to tie it to reciprocation. You can't expect things to be always perfect, just and fair.

But we try.

Life's not fair. Then we find someone to commiserate with.

Consoling the needy, however, can become a full-time occupation, regarding both the giving and the receiving.

I hope you find that special someone that completes you.

 

Anything that makes you feel like someone somewhere is battling with themselves in a similar sense does help. In some twisted way!

It's a vicious cycle. Not finding the drive to make it happen but beating yourself up over the fact that you don't.

I've been 'lonely' for many years. And I hate to say that even when I had a special person in my life, I still went on about those feelings to him. Maybe my discontent was self-made and what I need to address isn't my life but rather my attitude. And the rest will follow. Having people around may make you feel more 'normal' but when you're alone at the end of the day and you get to thinking...

Even if we find peace we will probably always feel different. But I like to think that we'll consider it a source of depth and understanding rather than of angst. With any luck, anyway!

 

Balance, which is a violent contradiction.

 

Balances generally are between two polarized possibilities.

 

Yea, I used to hang out with some "friends" in highschool during my freshman and sophmore year. I was pretty much alone my junior and senior year. At first I felt very set aside, but then got used to it and ended up not giving a fuck.

Well, im still the same way right now...the only difference is that im married.


So...you think you lack social skills or why do you think you're lonely?

I would advise you to enroll into any martial art to get that stress off you.

Good luck.

 

get a dog. way better friends then humans. they listen, and dont talk, and always stand by ur side.

 

First thing -dont be ashamed. do what makes you happy. some people are just loners in life, and thats completly normal, as long as you don't go crazy like Jack Torrance in The Shining xD