i have issues.

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by charredacacia, May 13, 2004.

  1. charredacacia

    charredacacia Member

    everyone who has that glow (the aura which certan girls have. I have never gotten over any girl with that radiance) love me "as a friend". For some reason, platonic love doesnt seem to make the cut. How long will I go on without love? How long will I survive? What is it about me that makes me so loved as a friend, but almost never loved as I ache to be loved? Is it the people I choose? Is my destiny to be loved "as a friend" by every girl I fall for? If that is my destiny, I know who will kiss me next, my old friend, I think they call her "Death" around here. Its not that I can not love life, it is that without love, I am lifeless.
     
  2. ZePpeLinA

    ZePpeLinA Jump around!

    Hi there!
    I feel for you. you've got the same questions I have. I can't ever have a relationship with anyone, it just hasnt worked for me. Everytime I've loved someone, they have left me or just want tobe friends. I wonder if the problem is I choose to be with the wrong people.

    I will never understand why. Anyways you're not the only one with this "problem",I think sometimes it has to be like that so when we finally find love, we are able to see that it's real. I know you have so much love to give...save it for when the right person arrives.

    sorry i cant be any more comforting, but having the same dilema myself, it's pretty hard to say something about it.

    I just want believe that anything is possible.
     
  3. fizzy_elf

    fizzy_elf Member

    hello

    i hear you loud and clear.
    all i can offer is empathy.


    correct me if i am wrong, but this is what i think of as the "Romeo" senario.
    do you know Romeo and Juliet? at the beginning if the play Romeo is infatuated with a character called Rosaline. he thinks he is in love, and he is, but is not in love with her but merely the idea if being in love. he is so ready and willing to fall in love that the object of his desires does not matter. he however confuses this desire to love with being in love with HER.

    i see this situation as being similar. you let this need and aching for love push its way to the front of your agenda whenever you meet a girl, and see her as some one who you can love. i suspect that often when you fall for a girl you are not falling for HER, but the love inside of her and the love which she could give to you to soothe this aching to love and be loved. when she does not return this intensity of feelings the hurt is even more, because of the illusion of love you were under.

    if we spend all our time looking for love, pure uncoditional love, and waste away the hours aching for that void to be filled and dream of finding someone whom we can love and care for and share something truely special with, you will only be dissappointed. yet if you let go and enter into relationships with NO preconceived ideas and let it take its course, you are less likely to be disappointed.


    the next time you meet a girl you are attracted to (the "glow") speak to her. get to know her. let the real love grow and you will see.

    i hope this made some sense, and i know this is so much easier said than done. like i say, i empathise completely as i too feel this dull aching all over my body when i think about love and all the love i have to give. i feel as if i have been waiting too long, but then i tell myself this is nonsense because i am still very young with my whole life ahead! sometimes you have to let logic override your emotions if your feelings are this intense and are having this much of a negative effect on you. i tell myself that it is silly to get wound up over people who's feelings are not felt mutually, it is not their fault and you cannot make people love you. please remember not to blame the girls you fall for.

    you WILL meet someone who sees you as more than a friend, but try to be less intense off the bat when you get with a girl. maybe she is being scared off or intimidated by your overwhelming love? i cannot give accurate opinions on the situation for i do not know it as well as you, so only you can make the judgements on how to go about resolving your worries.

    however, let me reassure you, you are not alone. i am sure there would be many people nodding their heads reading you post and i think that everyone has felt like this at some stage. if they have not yet, they will.

    i am not sure if any of this has been of any help, if there's anything alse, just ask because there are lots of people here to lend an ear!

    take care,

    xxx
     
  4. sonik

    sonik Member

    wow that was quite the post fizzy, I think you hit on some very good points.

    :cool:
     
  5. fizzy_elf

    fizzy_elf Member

    i think it indeed has to be my longest post on any forum ever! wha!!
     
  6. sonik

    sonik Member

    You deserve some rep points ;)

    *bling*bling*

    :cool:
     

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