I have come out to my family. MtF

Discussion in 'Transexual and Transgender' started by Nudegardner, Dec 3, 2021.

  1. Nudegardner

    Nudegardner Members

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    Long story short,was low on testosterone got on trt three years ago but have always known since age 4 I wasn't the right sex/gender,whatever. Odd that my test is high but I feel like I am still a girl.

    I don't understand.
     
  2. Nudegardner

    Nudegardner Members

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    I'm 51 and my son is 24,my wife is 47.

    I tell them how I feel,I communicate..

    I feel embarassed,ashamed and selfish.
     
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  3. Candy Gal

    Candy Gal Lifetime Supporter Super Moderator

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    Oh darling
    We all support on HIP.
    Never feel ashamed of how you feel.
     
  4. KathyL

    KathyL Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    Hi, @Nudegardner . Congratulations on coming out to your family. That is a hard step to take.

    We get so used to living our lives the way we have been told to that doing something important for ourselves can feel selfish. But there is nothing to feel embarrassed or ashamed of. Being trans is just part of who we are.

    It can help to talk to a gender therapist. They can help you to understand what you are feeling and who you are, and to plan what, if anything, you want to do about it.

    Regards,
    Kathy
     
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  5. Nudegardner

    Nudegardner Members

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    Thank you! I'm going to see a therapist sometime in January at the VA. Two years ago I was offered HRT and a voice coach. Had to turn it down,my family would have flipped.
     
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  6. KathyL

    KathyL Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    I have heard good things about the VA's support for trans people. That sounds like a good plan.
     
  7. arizonacook

    arizonacook Banned

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    I'm confused, you have told your family or not confident enough to?

    I am an ally for LBGTQ, here , you can always send me a message if you need someone to chat with. I am a,straight female but I too am 47 my husband had low T, used cream and injection! We also have twins that are 24... So I'm here and not shy about talking !.....my avatar changes but it's always a penguin

    Welcome to HIP.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 4, 2021
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  8. Nudegardner

    Nudegardner Members

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    I told my son and wife. I was low T,been on that for almost three years,had a "lovely" second puberty,that's when it hit me,the dysphoria has been getting stronger every year since. I shoo for dresses,paint my nails and love jewelry now.
     
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  9. Candy Gal

    Candy Gal Lifetime Supporter Super Moderator

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    We are here to support you.
    I have linked a few too.
     
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  10. arizonacook

    arizonacook Banned

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    well you are not alone!!!! there are several in HIP that have gone through exactly the same...... that is why this forum is so awesome--- there is always someone who has gone through just about everything,, i love this group for that,
     
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  11. Candy Gal

    Candy Gal Lifetime Supporter Super Moderator

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    MYSELF and Cookie gal are here for you - Always. x
     
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  12. KathyL

    KathyL Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    Likewise, I have been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, so you can ask me any questions. If you'd rather ask by PM, that is fine.
     
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  13. PrettyToni

    PrettyToni Members

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    I apologize Candy tagged me in this a few weeks ago but I haven’t been on. My heart goes out to you for being who you are and how you wanna live.

    I have wished my entire life that I was a girl. I always wondered what it would feel like to be soft and have curves and dress like one and be with a man, as a woman.

    It became especially strong after divorce at about 41. So I started buying clothes and pads and eventually went out in Buffalo, NY and lived 100% as a woman for a week and I loved it. I am unfortunately not out to friends or family but people I don’t know I can be myself and I know a few people who have only seen me as a woman. I absolutely love it although I do get nervous in public.

    It wasn’t until 43 (this year) that I started taking hormones. Within 6 months I am growing noticeable breasts and I am very soft have less muscle and am sporting a little curves. If they haven’t already noticed they may soon because I can see them in the mirror even with a tight sports bra on. Without one they jiggle and bounce lol. If I’m wearing a tight shirt especially one made for a female they are apparent. I love them and it’s thrilling but also scary.

    My renter has definitely found among other girly wonderfulness my panties and bras in the washer and dryer. I’m just like well whatever. He didn’t say anything but if he asked I don’t feel nervous about telling him. I’ve never dressed around him because I don’t know how he would take it. He would probably have a breakdown.

    He knows me well and until this happened I’ve never let on. I used to be his boss and while he would be accepting especially after he would realize I’m not interested in him sexually lol it would still bend his brain a little.

    My parents and son it would be a little more difficult but I think it’s showing more. There’s always something laying around my house like a pair of panties or a bra and my nipples stick out even in a hoodie and I jiggle. It’s going to happen at some point.

    It’s weird too how my growth has happened. It has been spurty. I will feel really worn out and tired for a few days and I’ll wake up and suddenly seemingly out of nowhere my breasts are noticeably much bigger. It just happened today. I noticed holy cow! It’s like they’re suddenly rounder and fuller and they touch when I’m laying on my side and I’m leaning and one’s hanging to my side it’s so cool.

    I wish you the best of luck you can follow me on here and pm me about anything Kathy L is probably a much better resource but I also love talking about my changes and feelings and to a small degree my love life. It’s been everything I’ve dreamt it to be. I love being a woman with a man when he treats me like a lady (unfortunately [or maybe fortunately] there are those that fetishize me). It’s flattering but I tell them there’s no point if you’re not going to treat me like a lady and take me on a real date or something. But when a man truly sees me as a woman and pulls me close and hugs me tells me I’m beautiful or holds me and snuggles me up on the couch or my head on his chest I’m just over the moon, in a bubble or cocoon. I am my true self and it is the most wonderful feeling ever.
    I hope you get to enjoy that feeling in whatever form that it takes. I hope we get to see you blossom. :)

    :kissingheart:
     
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  14. arizonacook

    arizonacook Banned

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    How wonderful of you to share! I'm glad you are discovering yourself! I'm a full figure woman and if I could hand over some of my " curves " I would! Enjoy your jiggles and wiggles!
     
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  15. PrettyToni

    PrettyToni Members

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    thank you...lol I wouldn’t say no
     
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  16. KathyL

    KathyL Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    Isn't it great when you notice those changes? I remember one time, I was putting on lipstick to go out and suddenly, I didn't recognize those lips in the mirror. They certainly weren't his lips. And a few months later, it was the eyes, Suddenly, I was seeing female eyes looking back at me.

    I always used to trot down stairs. Then, one day, my breasts told me in no uncertain terms that I could no longer do that without a bra.

    Toni, I would encourage you to be proactive in coming out to friends and family. If they are going to create a scene, it will happen whether you tell them or they figure it out themselves. But it will be much worse if you didn't tell them. In addition to whatever they feel about your being trans, they will also feel betrayed that you kept it a secret.

    The best decision I made in my transition was to tell my wife first. I spent a few months on online forums figuring myself out, but once I knew for myself that I was trans, I knew that I had to tell her before doing anything else. She has a bit of a temper, and if I had gone to see a therapist before telling her, that would have been the end of our marriage.

    Everyone's mileage is different, but no one that I have told directly, either in person or by email, has rejected me.
     
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  17. Candy Gal

    Candy Gal Lifetime Supporter Super Moderator

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    Always good support on HIP.
    I WILL not have any negatives on this. I know it is sensitive, I have good friends who have been through this.
    They are still, and, and always will be my close friends.
     
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  18. PrettyToni

    PrettyToni Members

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    yeah I noticed my lips this morning and I was jiggling around in my sports bra.

    I’ve definitely thought about formally coming out it would probably make people oh wow yes now it all makes sense lol

    But is it even necessary in 2021? If someone came out to me it wouldn’t change a thing. Maybe my parents would need me to formally come out. I’ve thought a lot about it. What is the real difference between clothes? It doesn’t really answer the question of what’s inside. I don’t care how I’m dressed really I feel like a woman no matter what.

    It’s all inside of me really now I’m just making my body match I guess which is the same no matter what I wear. But it would be nice I guess to wear women’s clothes a lot more or all the time and coming out would help there.

    The guy I’m seeing gets kinda put off if I’m not wearing something 100% girly. He doesn’t even like my sports bras even though my nipples are sticking straight out and I’m pouring out of the top. I told him I’m a woman what I wear doesn’t change anything I feel the same. I behave feminine talk feminine walk feminine and I don’t wear men’s clothes except for like a hoodie but that makes it even better because I can remember feeling jealous of when a girl would wear her bfs hoodie. I wanna wear his big old hoodie and smell his cologne on it and lay in his arms.

    I guess I might as well do it because almost nothing would change lol. My work clothes are basically unisex and that’s what I wear a lot of the time when I’m by myself.

    Some of it is crystal clear some of it is very confusing lol.
     
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  19. PrettyToni

    PrettyToni Members

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    :kissingheart: <3 xxxooo
     
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  20. Candy Gal

    Candy Gal Lifetime Supporter Super Moderator

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    Pretty Toni I have always been supportive with you.
    I feel you are, not only my bestie, but a bestie gf. xxxx
     
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