i have an insanely dirty mind for 14... Haha

If you're handling words that well at 14 you could have a great future writing! Hell, you're already a better creative writer than I could hope to be. Do yourself a favor and find ways to never get bored with it.

 

add detail to the slap like :

Her barehand slapping my cheek was like a knife slicing across it, a knife that was dipped in limon juice.

 

I try not to
Like I wont write for about 2 weeks and then BAM ,it comes out like a jeez coming out of a man jacking off!

 

I wll give it a shot.....

I saw this hot blond chick walking down the street and I was like
"Hey babe you got big tits"
and she was all like
"Thank you lets make love"
And I did and I was all like "hell yeah."

the end

 

lol
That was AMAZING!
You should become a writer!
I'd totally buy you're books

 

*looks at rebelfight420's member status and nods knowingly*

Stick to clothing the homeless, son

 

That sounds like noir narration.

She walked into my office that night. And it would be the last night of my life. A dame with a body hot as fire, and a grudge as cold as ice.

"I want him dead." She told me. The broad was pushy but her money was right. "I'll take the job." We both knew I didn't have a choice. I was an old man. Pushing 60, with a bum ticker and nothing to lose.

 

what if I add more detail like "she rubbed by weiner until it turned hard, hard as a old korean veteran"

 

That was the literary equivalent of “Slam Bam, Thank You Ma’am” '

Keep your day job


h

 

no, "she sucked my dick like a child sucking a candy cane"

 

I think we've been had... check out Snoopy's blog linked to in this thread... A fledgling poison pen extraordinaire methinks.

 

Haha.

 

Your actually comparing me to the greatest literary contribution of the past century. Oh my God Thank You:bigcry:

 

Here's a new one from my story:

I screamed and jumped on him. I made out with him and then sat up. I started giving him head to get him harder and it worked. I lowered myself onto him for him to enter. I started to ride him like a horse. He thrusted up a dozen times and every time was an orgasm.

I got off him and he got on me and in me. He thrusted up and down a few times and then started moving side to side. I wrapped my legs around lower back and pulled him in deeper. I grabbed the sheets on the bed with my nails and started to rip the sheet . I put my hands on Acer's back started to dig them into him. Acer moaned with pleasure and I started bitting his neck. Every bite I bit, he thrusted harder. I was bitting him so hard he was bleeding and he was thrusting so hard, it was starting to hurt.

I cried out:

"Oh god yes! Harder ,Acer, harder! Oh my fucking god ,Acer! Yes! Yes! Oh my mother fucking god YES!"

I bit him on his all over his chest and he licked and kissed and bit me all the was down my stomach. Every bite was like a needle shooting me with every afrodesiacte out there.

 

This thread is going to get mightily chafed.

 

But we are ok with that

 

well i hope you like getting your private message box full of 400 pound pedophiles

 

Here’s a tissue




hotwater

 

regardless its still great writing, and extraoridnary when you consider a 14 year old is the author.

 

Aww
Thanks!