I have a question about anal sex???

This may sound a little weird but you should get her to buy a hairbrush that has a round smooth end and make her insert that up her ass, don't you do it but let her do it. This way her ass hole can get used to the idea of having something in it and she can learn to relax and she will see it doesn't hurt by moving certain ways and doing certain things etc

A good way to do this is to get her to put her foot on the edge of the brush to hold it and move back and forward on it. Being fucked up the ass on your back is a good starting point. You can watch her to see if she looks like she's in pain.

The moral of the anal story is open your legs wide, kiss your lover deeply so it relaxes her. I still think the best positions for anal are lying on your back and laying face down on your stomach but with your ass raised.

 

I don't really have any advice, I just have a question I'm hoping to have answered...

My bf and I have tried anal once, and it really hurt at first, but he was very gentle and I started to enjoy it but it didn't last long because I just couldn't handle it. Anyways, I kinda want to try it again, but I can seem to get out of my own head...every time I start to think about maybe letting him go through the back door I sike myself out thinking about the pain rather than the pleasure and never end up giving it a try...any advice?

 

have a vegi vindaloo, that will clean any one out lol.

 

Ya, too much and I wish you had the PM feature on, but it's cool.

You both ought to do a lot of stimulation of the area before you even start penetration. The more relaxed you are, especially in that area, the better; in this case you simply cannot be "too" relaxed. The anus / area just outside the anus, etc. can actually be relaxed by gently rubbing and the like for a decent amount of time, just like another other part of the skin; it is easy to notice. The idea (along with penetration itself) is basically to successfully communicate to a rather sensitive part of the body that it's okay and that you're not "gonna" hurt it (funny I know, but right nonetheless). You can do this with both of each other's fingers while in various positions or he can do it with his tongue, which personally I would do as it's funny, romantic and a lot more effective for everyone.

As someone mentioned above, kissing and just generally being romantic while you're doing this can help a lot, including during the actual penetration, as again, it serves to relax and distract.

Breathing is also very important for beginners for easier penetration. Exhaling slowly or inhaling slowly as penetration is actually occurring helps a lot. I prefer to inhale; inhaling and letting your belly "hang" or "bulge" or however you'd like to term it, during penetration, can be very helpful. If you can keep your belly bulged a bit throughout penetration then that should help, but it's not totally necessary and you may find it easier to just take long, deep and slow breaths.

Avoiding the pain is best done by VERY gradually increasing the size of whatever it is that you're using to do the penetration, up to whatever your goal is. You really, really ought to start tiny. If you have the means, you should order some toys off the Net because they do more than get the job done. I'd recommend something simple, something without any real texture and small diameter, to start. Namely this would be the tiny plugs that they make. From there he could use one of the smaller fingers, then a larger, then a larger one than that, then two, etc.

When you use fingers it's important, especially without gloves, to be mindful of the fingernails. A good way to insert a finger up there, aside from simply spreading and going right up the middle, is (with lube of course), with the finger turned on its side and with hands spreading the butt a bit, to slide it with some pressure against the butt coming in and down from the side of the anus; once it gets there it will automatically pull one side toward it, stretching it just right to allow the finger in. And as a general note it's important to remember that the anus is more vertical than horizontal, and that that DOES make a big difference in how you should do certain things.

If you do these sorts of things diligently and with patience then there shouldn't be much of that initial pain, if any at all. In subsequent "sessions" it should just go away (Why else would millions of people love anal sex if it didn't?) As a beginner the appeal is usually that it's taboo and dirty, and thus it translates into a turn-on. Eventually though you may find that it can be morphed into a rather romantic experience as you can both bring into it a trust / care factor (primarily from his end) instead or as well as there is indeed always a riskiness and whatnot to it.

The pleasure generally comes from two places: the physical pleasure that is generated from sliding back and forth on the erogenous tissue of the anus, which like anything becomes greater the more you stick with it and stimulate further blood blood flow, and secondly, later on down the line when you're more experienced, there is an enormous turn-on and sexual experience when you're able to really fill out the rectal area with larger objects.

But that's that for now. Hope it helped, and you can search my recent post history for some important info about this same subject.

Edit. Three things: I guess you do have PM's on... could've been a display issue.

Second thing I wanted to mention that is really important is positioning. The best positions to be in are the ones that support the most parts of your body, because they are the ones that allow you to most easily relax. In this case, as someone already mentioned, being on the back is really good. Face down in lazy doggy-style would also be good and in this case a bit better in the grace department; also way, way better for him.

Third. When it comes to lubrication it may seem sufficient to just douse the object and anus and call it a day, but it's not. Each time even the smallest bit of progress is made in penetration the object should immediately have some amount of lubrication re-added to it. This makes a huge difference, and I get the feeling that it has always been underrated.