I hate myself...

Some therapists don't know what they are talking about, whereas others do. What I was thinking more of though was, have you considered you might have ADD or something along those lines? Because most therapists don't test for that, don't recognize it, dont often enough consider it. And this, as well as others (which they automatically include in the testing) can cause such reactions very specifically like those you describe. Also ADD (& adhd) is not a mental problem but a biological one! Please consider getting tested, cuz if thats all it is, why go on suffereing when there is real help these days for it. There's even natural, herbal help. Although thats not the topic and not important, so not to get sidetracked, just hope you will consdier these as possibilities as maybe a cause of what's going on with you.

Namaste,
Lotus

 

Whaaa, whaaaa, whaaaa...... ask yourself:

What have YOU done to make it better?!!!

The world is never gonna make you feel, look, be better - this is a do it yourself kinda place. So just do SOMETHING, get out, have fun, pretend to be who you want to be and who knows? maybe it'll stick! And so what you're a virgin? GOOD! that means your fresh meat for some older woman who would probably love to give you lessons... not me, I already married my younger man!

Seriously, life is way to short to be miserable. So what if people don't want to be your best friend, or think you are 'cool', whatever the hell that is. Your problems are pretty insignificant. Read the paper and see what real suffering is about. Look around you. There are way worse things than being single, male, young and free.

 

*grin* Okay, maybe MrsA-Camper was a little harsh, but she def has a point. Sweetie, you and I are almost the same age... I'm a little older than you as I will be 24 in July. "Cool" is a thing of the past, and once you come to accept that, everything gets better from there. I was the biggest dork EVER, never mind that I was pretty... I was FRIGGIN' WEIRD. But you know what? Who gives a s**t, you're an adult now, and real adults don't think in terms of "cool". Any woman worth her salt doesn't care about how "cool" you are, she cares about the "you inside of you". You've got the opportunity to give your virginity as a conscientious adult, not some starry eyed novice kid. My God, what I would give to take back the past and be in your shoes. When you do have sex, it can mean everything if you want it to, it doesn't have to be just another f**k like it is for almost everyone else.

And believe me, another good point is to look at the suffering around you. You should come to my city and see the absolute harshness of the reality in my own neighborhood. Homelessness, addiction, illness and death wait right outside on my doorstep. Look into their eyes for a moment and feel the real pain of their hunger, thirst, and neediness. You don't even have to be lonely... you have us on here! Because if we didn't care about you, you wouldn't have so many responses to your thread. What do you think about that?

Smooches, Julie

 

Just thought I'd add my 2 bits...

I've had some pretty tough times in the past, and currently my life isn't exactly a dreamboat, but it's really not bad at all either. I'm 19, I have my own apartment, a job that pays well, my own car, and I'm single. I have some shit that gets me down at times, but then again, who doesn't? Most of the stuff that gets to me is just things that are within myself, which I'm sure you know can be far worse than anything physical/situational. Take for example one of the earlier posters who has a disability. He seemed to have the right attitude. I'm sure there are people out there who you might think have it real bad, but they really couldn't be more content with their situation. It's all a matter of perspective and your own values. Being down and out is a part of life that EVERYONE goes through, so remember that.
Chin up man. Grab life by the fucking balls.

 

Yeah!!! That's what I meant!! It's right there, waiting for you to appreciate it, love it, revel in it!!!

 

Migle: mmm, nihilism sounds as the answer....

LotusIndia: What the hell is ADD???

 

Attention Deficit Disorder.

Its not psychological, its neurological. But it reacts psychologically or emotionally. Because the synaapses don't fully reach the brain, causing a variety of different types of responses in different people. Symptoms are very similar to those you mention so its worth looking into. Fortuantely it is much more easily treatable than nearly anything else. I wouldn't recommend Ritalin tho. Its ok and works great for some people, so guess I wouldn't 'not' recommend it either. But there are more natural, herbal things available these days. If you want me to get a link for you, I have one somewhere. First though, find out for certain. Get diagnosed. Its painless!

Namaste,
Lotus

 

Man, what a way to introduce yourself. I'm fucked up too in a way. Maybe not like you, but yeah I am fucked up. Ever talked to a professional? I did. It didn't make my problems go away, but I never talked so candidly in my entire life and it was good to have someone listen to me without judgement -although my dad had to pay for her services.

 

Ooops, sorry, my bad!

I sometimes reply to the original poster without bothering to read all the other posts. I didn't realize you already talked to a therapist. Sorry bout that, but I hope it all works out and all.

 

Hey Babes!
You guys are so hard on yourselves, you should love being a virgin, I'm 14, and I love it, a lot of my friends are "doing it" and I don't want to be a part of that group. I want to save it for marriage, and I am determined too, I want to save that with the right person. You should too! I may not have a life full of experience or whatever, but you should love being a virgin! Too many guys/girls spread that around, hello! std's. don't risk it!

 

sarah: I´m gonna be 23 this month, it's not funny to be a virgin...

 

Did you check out the ADD thing yet? If thats the problem, and you have a lot of the symptoms, then getting it diagnosed and treated can solve a bunch of other problems, that one included!

Lotus