I hate being treated like a moron

Gorilla is basically right. Not very kind or diplomatic, but right.

I have learned this after living with a woman (my second wife) who can't stop finding fault with me.

What I wanted to do was beat her. What I ended up doing was yelling at her. What I finally learned to do was to refuse to discuss it. When she would start in on me I would say, "I don't wish to discuss this with you." If she persisted I would say, "If you continue talking about this I'm going to leave the room." If she persisted, I would leave the room. Then if she still persisted I would say, "If you continue talking about this I'm going out." And if she persisted I would leave the house - go for a walk or a drive, and stay away for a substantial amount of time. Usually this was enough.

You need to learn to do this, but your boyfriend needs to learn it much more than you do. He's the son, he's the one she's addressing, and he's the one who should be stopping it. If he can't do this, he's exactly what I was: A wonderful, nice doormat - moreover, a doormat that is in danger of becoming a bomb if the shit he's eating reaches the overload point.

Moving out will be helpful, however the basic spiritual issue will come up again, I promise. He needs to learn this lesson. Now would be the best time to start.

 

Indeed. He does have some good points. He does always stand up for me though.

 

Of course I can't possibly know that but it doesn't necessarily have to be all that much.

1 Part Astute Observation + 1 Part Harsh Cynicism = Vanilla Drink On Ice

Stirred, not shaken.

 

I guess I'm turning this thread into the "Complain about my mother-in-law thread"

We were supposed to go see my nephew yesterday on the way to somewhere around the neighborhood to help a family friend move to her new place. It all got cancelled last minute so drunken idiot offered to take me today because she's borrowing her friend's car. I said sure and she proceeded to complain every step of the way acting like I gave her no choice even though she OFFERED and god forbid I expected her to stick to her word.

So she made me call my sister at 7am and tell her to be ready, then she dawdled and wasted our time until we finally left at 11:30. Because she had to stop at the store and get alcohol first. She had a two day temp job and you know where her money goes the second she gets any. So she drank just enough to not be drunk but still be obnoxious and we left. Constant complaining about gas and a bad tire etc etc. She made my boyfriend put 10 dollars in the tank and then expected him to buy her lunch even though she just got paid. He told her to fuck off.

I spent a total of a half hour with my nephew before she rushed me out of there. Then she bitched about having to pay tolls and decided to take the long way home to avoid the highway. She then complained about how long it was taking like it was MY fault, then told my boyfriend that he suddenly owed her for the tolls she had to pay on the way there which was TWO fucking dollars but somehow she said it was five bucks). Then I got carsick because it's a terrible car and there was fumes and the windows don't close so it was hot. She's complaining about how tired she is and how she's not cooking today because she had to do everything, while I'm dying in the backseat.

So we get home and I puke about forty times. She then asks my bf while I'm in the bathroom if I'm pregnant even though she knows exactly why I'm sick. Then asks again twenty minutes later when I'm in the room and I have to tell her again that I just had my period and we use condoms 100% of the times we have sex. Now I'm going to have to listen to her drunken babble for the next hour or so until she passes out. I'm NEVER accepting a favor from her again.

I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF DEALING WITH THE ADDICTS IN MY LIFE.
Things are better with my sister now and I do love her to death. She's trying to get better, and she's on subutex but she's struggling because my mother now makes her use her 200 dollars of foodstamps to feed herself and her son while she buys liquor and expensive food for herself. Now my mom and my boyfriend's mom are alcoholics and my sister is surprisingly the one getting her shit together. When do things improve for us, the people who actually are trying for a decent life for ourselves?

 

Lesson learned.

The righteous don't necessarily prosper. I'm thinking of some Old Testament phrase...something like, "beset on all sides by iniquities..."

Or as my spirit guide Deanna likes to say, "Too much drama for mama."

 

She was acting like she's a saint for driving me a half hour away (even though she made the trip take much longer). Call me a bitch, but I don't feel like the person doing the favor deserves my thanks when she complains the entire time and makes me feel like crap. So yes, lesson learned.

Every thing in my life is a reminder that life is not fair. Where's karma? I spent a good three years putting my life on hold to take care of a child, then when I tried to do something for myself, things go wrong every step of the way. I mean come on, don't I deserve some fortunate days? Not that I'm not thankful for my lover. But we're so restricted because of this woman who really has no right to be having such a huge say in how miserable we are.

 

Why do you live with her? Is it possible to get your own place?

 

That's what we're working on now. At the end of the year we're moving. It just sucks sticking it out until then. Plus she'll have no where to go and we have to avoid her trying to tag along.

 

I'm not exactly a stranger to unfair shit. I've had years of it, and some was very bad.

But it helps to vent...helps even more when someone listens to your venting.

 

You dont owe the previous generation anything. Whats "Due" is payed back to the next generation, as the oldies parents did with them. Any time, money, resources spent on the mother in law and ones like her will in the end just equate to time, money, resources taken away from your kids.

You just get a whole bunch of garbage from the older ones thats simply a power play, so they can retain relevance, sponge off you, show no appreciation and just expect it. That will just take care of itself, zengizmo employed the overload metaphor, there is a point where you get fed up with it and you'll be like FUCK OFF - with a whole bunch of people still around you crapping on about family values (usually the spongers not the spongees) and you'll be like Pfffft, yeah well try dealing with my family for a week.

Not that really talking about it is going to do anything, just how much that Warrior Princess in your Uterus takes over you wont know till you are there, you wont find out about all the "unspoken" aspects of pregnancy till your first time , then when that first little man especially arrives on the scene, just how instantly ready you are to scratch any skanky bitches face off that gets anywhere near him.

Focused on the mother and mother in law at the moment, cos its in the here and now, but its really the boyfriend you have to worry about, how much of a Xena are you going to turn into. Sticking with him may not even be a choice, if you do you are going to at least have to wean him off his mommy.

What might have been ideal at 19, all sweet and lovey dovey - by 25 with two kids, wow this is awesome, I want more babies! babies! give me babies! may just be too irritating and frustrating if you are going to be one of those ones with the eyes spinning around like when Wyle E Coyote gets an anvil dropped on his head at any guy over 6 foot, who all of a sudden become instant comedians:

"Pass the ketchup please"
"Hah ha, ketchup, you are soooo funny cough cough I've only got 300 eggs left, ha ha ketchup"

Is he going to be able to handle the Xena

 

I agree. Thanks :2thumbsup:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj2luQ8pJ1A"]Zoe Bell - Xena - Devi - Season 4 (Xena vs Gabrielle - Girl Fight) - YouTube

 

I take it the tall one in the sexy warrior outfit is La Principessa?

 

I take that as a compliment.

 

I think Vanilla Gorilla is the one saying you're going to turn into Xena. I think he's probably right about that too.