I got so angry when he talked about 3p. really need your comments, thanks

Thank you so much. You are really helpful.

I really really appreciate your last two posts. They definately mean something to me.

 

I try to understand why some people think me as a whore. I know who I am, what I really thought of and what I really wanted, so it doesn't hurt me at all. I just found what I did was easily misunderstood by some kind of guys.

Now I realize that this person I met may think he convinced me to have sex with him successfully with the promised gifts and whatever. But the truth is, I decided to have sex with him when I agreed to see him in the phone!

Tom doesn't believe that too. But really, in any case, if I feel that I am not in danger with some dangerous guy, I will go to motel with him.

But now, I see the logic why some people think I am a whore. They think that I had sex with this guy just because what he promised. But, people, if I really thought that way, why didn't I tell you the truth? I don't need to make up some lies in this post to make myself look better at all. I just want to know when things began to go bad. Now, according to Tom and some other IDs, I found when I say nothing to his offers, he took it as a yes to all the blablabla~~~

But, really, I didn't mean anything like that. All the "money" talks starts normally. For example, he talked about several countries of Asia he ever visited. I asked if he went to my country, he said no and began to say something very excitedly like how he wish he could visit there with me. I will never want to do it! But how should I respond in the small talk? I just smiled awkwardly and finished this subject. Then he said something about his home city, apparently he loves his home city and I respect that. Then suddenly, he said" you know, lets go back together some day" and he just finished the talk! What should I say back? He has finished the talk! What I did was keeping in silence. I said that I smiled, now I think the real thing I did is moving some muscles in my face awkwardly.

So, Tom and some person believe that is what a whore did, would you please give me some nice suggestions about how to handle these? I should say back specifically that these things would NEVER happen or I just should ask him to drive me back? At that moment, I just wanted to have sex with a stranger. From what I learned from the movies and TVs in the US, nothing is bad about it. Am I right?

And, what he specifically said is "you can bring your friend with you". And he know "my friend" means my best friend, a specific girl. Of course he never met her, but sometimes she called when I was in motel and I ever told him that we spent much time together. This is so humiliating that I couldn't tell it in my original post. I may be a slut, but none of my friends is. If you are loyal to your friend, you may understand why I feel so furious. It is not "some girl" generally, it is my best friend. It made me feel guilty when I faced my friend these days, for involving her in a really really disgusting talk.

I learned something from this bad experience. But it really affected me in some negative ways. Last night, in a supermarket, a really nice guy offered some help and had a chat with me. I assumed he has another intention until he left without asking for my number. When some people talk to me in the coffee shop in these two days, I just responded with yes or no or nodding or shaking my head. I don't even want to smile to any stranger. Yes, it is sad. But whatever!

By the way, this man never called back and he called me every day before this thing happened. No matter it is because he thought I am a hooker and lost his interests, or it is because he know I was furious and don't dare to call me back, it is a relief to me.

 

I know I have responded you. But sorry I have to speak for my friend again.

He insulted me and MY FRIEND first, and then I began to act as a whore and try to insult him.

Yes, I may be a slut. But all of my friends are very very traditional and decent people. I don't want to say something that sounds shallow and stupid. But THAT FRIEND works in a fund since she graduated from MBA and drives the same stupid BMW car as his. I don't know how much money he has, just as I know don't how much money my best friend has. And I don't even know how much money my parents have. I really don't care that much!

 

You cant really trust anyones opinions when it comes to this kind of stuff, especially when its a guy trying to label you a whore, usually in a sulky way. Its more how they say it rather than what they actually say.

Your more traditional, supposedly decent friends...who no doubt will get bitchy, judgemental and perhaps even cut you off from a friendship over something as trivial as a like for casual sex....nothing really decent about that.

Where is that traditional path going to lead them? Pregnant, struggling on one income, too reliant / dependant on a man.

Sounds like you are headed for the corporate world, where you dont get rewarded for being a traditional part time stay at home mum. Just be more assertive with guys like this in the future, that assertiveness will help you at work as well, guys can be dickheads.

Where do you want to be in 10 years? The assertive power suit girl, a total ballbreaker, rising up the corporate ladder, a nice income to assure your security - isnt that part of what attracted you about the west, or that you dont necessarily have to follow the traditional path.

Your friends are important, but listen to them to much and where is that going to get you?, just keep certain parts to your life seperate to them. In the end they dont know any better anyway, they only know there lives.

The only scary part I heard was the unprotected sex, which again is about assertiveness. Usually the kind of guy that cant handle an assertive woman is full of insecurities himself.

But check yourself as well, he's a "pervert" for wanting two girls at once, got you angry, but its a big fantasy for pretty much all of them. Why it got you angry didnt really have anything to do with him, more about you protecting your best friend.

If you start running around not smiling at guys cos you just assume they are all wanting to treat you like a sex object - then you end up being submissive to them without realising it - and again we are back to assertiveness. Instead of shying away do the opposite, look them in the eye and say "Dont bother smiling at me like that, I know you are the type to cum too quick" and watch what happens. It is in itself a good test of confidence, if they sulk and run away like a little boy, you havent wasted your time.

Or to put it another way, the best thing to do is the exact opposite of what everyone else says you should do

 

Hi, I am reading your response and it made me cry again, so I cannot say anything right now. Just hope you know how grateful I am.

 

I think you will make a very nice couple ,good luck:sunny: