I finally did it

Damn, that's a serious upheaval you got going on there. I'm glad your life is still moving in the forward direction though. Remember, trust is number one, and as long as you recognize that the new girlfriend has reason not to trust you, and you don't try to force it on her, things should be allright. Also, as long as she realizes you only acted the way you did was because the old GF was putting such a substantial strain on your mental wellbeing that you were unable to act rationally, she should get it and you should be happy together.

 

I'm not shocked or butthurt, I just think it's the easy way out and after 7 years especially he should've been a man about it.

If you put your personal drama on the internet, not everyone is going to pat you on the back and say good boy everything will be ok from now on.

 

Buy the kid some noise cancelling earphones fo Christmas, he wont end up hating them if he cant hear them talk

 

I usually don't air my problems on here, but since I've been coming here so long this is one of the few places I can get friends to offer advice. A few people like death, lode, and terrorist were here when I lost my first wife. Besides I love women! Probably too much haha

 

If you're with someone who makes you happy, then good for you. It may not have been the way a lot of other people would have broken it off, but it's you're life. Live it the way you see fit. I don't recall you asking for opinions I hope you and your new girl have a happy relationship.

 

Good luck on your new adventures. Stay close with your boy.

 

Your member reputation will have to be downgraded now that you've cheated!

 

I don't know man... sometimes you need a push and/or some incentive. Like, I think I would leave my boyfriend if something extreme happened... like he pulled an extreme dickhead move (I can't really think of anything at the moment?) or if I found someone who I thought was better suited for me. Not because I don't have the balls to leave him the right way, it's just easy to be content......

Let's face it, love and life isn't what we see in the movies or read about in fairy tales. It's easy to stay with someone just because of the fact that you don't want to hurt the other person or because you just get comfortable... and after a while, you can justify staying with anyone if you have been with them long enough and actually do love them and care about their well being.

I'm probably one of only people who is going to say good for you, Lodog. I think the fact that you were with your girl for 7 years probably made it that much harder for you to end it.... but at the end of the day you did the right thing, and you only get one life. Your happiness comes first and foremost.. and if you were as miserable as you said you were, chances are - your girlfriend was probably miserable too.

Good luck with the new girl. If it works out with her, great. If it doesn't, atleast she was the push you needed to get out of a bad relationship.

Plus since it's a new relationship, have as much sex as possible. That is the one thing I miss about the beginning of my relationship with my man... banging 7 times a day.

Get. It. In. For all of us here at HF. Especially PR. :2thumbsup:

haha

 

I never knew how many people on this site were so morally perfect. You wouldn't know it from looking at the front page

 

Well I can definitely understand where you are coming from, and I've kind of been there (not wanting to hurt her) and ultimately did something similar to what lodog did. And guess what, it didn't hurt her either way, but what I did fucked with my own mind. So in other words I wasn't trying to pass judgment just give my input based on experience and it probably came out wrong as usual.

I just like to give myself a good break in between relationships. This time around though is turning into an extended break, but whatever. See below.

Been doing a lot of thinking and my main problems are I don't open up to many people, like really let them see who I am. So I get linked up with these broads that just want a 'bad boy', and I'm pretty sure I end up sabotaging the relationship because they don't understand me. I can open up to people online a lot better, but that isn't real anyway. So it doesn't matter.

Secondly, I'm really good at being alone. I get lonely sometimes, but it doesn't faze me I just keep going. Hang out with friends when I want but I honestly don't even need that most of the time. Just haven't felt like partying much. I've been getting calls lately like 'hey man you alive? I'm worried about you'.. Get sex when I need it.. well, take that back I need it everyday, but I get it when I want to put in the effort of calling and driving, then laying there for awhile with someone I don't even care about and just fucked like a robot.

Now not that any of that is better than being in a perpetual relationship, but I'd rather be alone with even a sliver of hope that there is someone out there that's going to be that one person. You know, happily ever after type shit. Not to mention, a relationship without passion and growth is horrible to me. The only two ways I could see myself staying in something like that is if there were kids involved or because of finances. And I have no kids and make plenty of money.

 

I like your opinions deviate. I've never really been alone for a long time.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydzoSYvdA-M"]Rain Parade - Carolyn's Song - YouTube

 

Thanks. And it's not for everyone that's for sure. Sorry if I was offensive, everyone has their point of view I guess. All we can all do is take it one day at a time.

 

I'm in like the same boat. Just split with the guy I was with for almost 11 years. I was pregnant I knew, I had known for a long time, that I wasn't in love with him anymore. I didn't want to have a family with him and get old together. I could barely stand the sound of his voice, sometimes I wanted to punch him just for being alive. I'm not a cold hearted person at all, but being with someone you're not compatible with for such a long time can really bring the bitterness out.

I cheated a bunch of times. He'd always forgive me. He just wanted me to stay. In the end I was fucking around on him to try and drive him away and try and make myself feel guilty because I didn't.

I'm not in love though. I don't even want to get into a relationship. I don't really believe in monogamy. It should be a choice. I don't want to ever think I need to feel guilty for sex. And I believe that you should always be open to falling in love with someone else, not just sex. You shouldn't have to insulate yourself from it. If things are really good between you for both of you, then you just won't leave for someone else.

But whatever, I'm still a little cold and bitter inside.

 

So for 11 years you couldn't just have ended it yourself?
You're right about the cold and bitterness.

 

People who say cheating are like referees in a prize fight but the prize isn't worth fighting for if we become one another's jailers. I demand, allow, and support personal liberty above all and am grateful that someone shares their time with me.

Come together however you can. The more secure in yourself the more you have to offer a relationship.

 

I tried to break up with him so many times. It was torture. He'd cry and beg, he'd refuse to leave, chase me if I left, threaten suicide and in really showy ways like locking himself in the bathroom with a knife.

It was all fucked. I don't know why cheating is such a hot button issue when there are so many ways people can be shitty to each other. So I got naked with some other people, I didn't mentally torture him and tell him he was going to be responsible for my suicide.

I'm not even saying cheating is LESS bad than that, but I'm sure it's not MORE bad.

Maybe I will change my tune about all of this shit when I've fully recovered, I'm just sure as hell not about to jump into anything with someone else.

 

Thats just messed up. Clearly he has psychological problems and was forcing you to feel guilty.
But 2 wrongs don't make a right.

 

I knew they were all the morality police.

To Lodog- 7 years is not long to figure you hate your sons mother though. I know people grate on each other but if its trivial then ignore it. Its the tough lessons that teach us how we can be better companions. Its taken me years to even figure out what traits i want in a man.

Good luck to you.

 

Yes - a catalyst.