Thank you in advance. It's a long post however it is regarding my boyfriend. [SIZE=10.5pt]Boyfriend mentioned he watches straight, male and woman porn however lesbian doesn't do anything for him. I believe I am a fairly non judgemental girlfriend. My boyfriend loves his own ass and loves me to spank/squeeze it during sex which I like to do as anything that turns him on, turns me on. As a female however this is a bit of a blow to my femininty as no man should pay more attention to his own ass than a girl. He is constantly hard around me however. Whilst yes, he does compliment mine, generally speaking the attention is focused on his. Excuse me if I sound weird myself however I find it odd that my boyfriend loves me to give him hand/head and even loves to masturbate when he is in doggy position. Basically on knees, leaning forward with ass in the air. He loves me to go from behind. He also loves squatting which he finds pleasurable. He finds it easiest to cum in those positions and of course during sex which is usually him on top but finds it hard to cum laying down on his back if I give him hand/head. He has told me that masturbating in other positions is not effective and if that he just squats down, he cums very quickly. I've seen it before and he even flexes his feet so he's literally just balancing on his tippy toes. In one video he sent me of him masturbating, he was doing exactly that, leaning forward as well and then somewhat bounced up and down near the end. When I have asked before, he tries to give me unreasonable explanations such as "gravity" which makes me even more puzzled. The issue is that it is interfering with our sex life. When we first met, he couldn't cum. It was only till after many tries of doing everything to please him, that he could cum inside yet he was still somewhat squatting, just penetrating this time. It was very frustrating as sometimes I would give him oral for 40 minutes or so, obviously enjoying it but no ejaculation. He put it down to masturbation, porn and performance anxiety. It was only one night where he was able to cum, that was inside me and somewhat squatting. I have mentioned to him that in order for him to be able to cum and not be desensitised, he needs to slowly try other positions masturbating so his body also gets used to it. He has agreed to do this yet still mentions he has tried other positions however it is not that effective. He believes just refraining from masturbation itself will help, yet I disagree because even if he does that like he has done other times, he still will only be able to ejaculate in me in particular positions such as missionary where he is somewhat still "squatting" He usually squats to masturbate, on tippy toes and somewhat bounces near the end of an orgasm. I feel somewhat better as the other night he mentioned that he masturbated to photos of me, in a different position and was able to cum. The other night we were on the phone and I asked him to refresh my memory about a gay story he had whilst away on holiday that he told me months ago about a gay male hitting on him. He first told me he ignored him yet last night he said something different. He told me that the gay man at the party was telling my boyfriend he gave off a bi sexual vibe and asked if he's ever been with men and that it is only a matter of time. Again, I asked if he IS bisexual and he said "no, end of story" I told him that I would be disappointed if I found out he was lying. He said I will never find out as he isn't bisexual. He mentioned I could ask his friends and that they would laugh at it as they believe he is homophobic. We then were speaking about different masturbating techniques and I said to search on google as plenty of advice and different forms will come up, he mentioned he could look at male solo's. I asked why he would do that as it sounded homosexual and he said "yes actually that does sound very wrong. Just to be able to see how it's properly done" Then last night, I asked him again and it caused an argument, he said he feels offended. [/SIZE] [SIZE=10.5pt]He has mentioned before that he likes sporty women. I used to do a lot of sports however not anymore. Sometimes when he’s wearing a cap, he’ll take it of and then put it on me. I’m the complete opposite of a “boyish” girl. I’m very feminine, I like to dress girly and my looks are very “feminine”[/SIZE] [SIZE=10.5pt]He has asked me before if I’m adventurous and if I’ve ever kissed a woman. I recognize when a woman is beautiful but there is no sexual/romantic attraction. I then said that it’s not about being adventurous. [/SIZE] [SIZE=10.5pt]Every time since I have brought this to his attention that he may like men, he plays with the idea and makes it into a joke. For example, calling me his lover boy, touching himself and then saying to me "Ohhh that's so gay isn't it?" Basically making me think he is gay and joking about it. I somewhat laugh about it and then I asked if he will continue to joke about it and he said "yes because you actually thought I was into men" It's not just the porn that has made me suspicious. For example last night (I assume he's just playing with me) we were talking about food and I meant to say I was hungry, however I accidentally said "Haha now I'm buddy" and he said "Hehehe buddy"[/SIZE] The other night we were on the phone and he was talking to me about how serious he is about me and then he started coughing. I was jokingly about to say that he is coughing because he’s lying. Suddenly, he thought I was going to say “coughing on dick” clearly out of line and random. He then was reassuring me that he is not gay and is actually a homophobic and that if I’m that suspicious, to ask his friends and they will tell me my boyfriend is homophobic. He told me that he hates gay and I asked why. He said “because they think they’re so different to social norms and that they’re better than everyone else” I then asked if he has any gay friends, he said no but knows of. The other night we skyped and he got very hard at just the sight of my breasts. As mentioned before, its never an issue of him getting hard in front of me or going soft during sex. In fact, he is often, always hard around me which is obviously a good sign. [SIZE=10.5pt]Do you believe he is bisexual or has bisexual tendencies? It's difficult because he keeps saying he doesn't, yet whenever I do ask, his voice/tone changes.[/SIZE]
Would it put you off him if he was? Would you be able to share him with a guy? At least it's not a woman! Some say! He doesn't sound homophobic, but he might be bi! But he will never come out to you and risk losing you if you give off negative vibes, as you obviously do! Just remember, if he is bi, at some point, he will cheat on you, could you cope?
I agree with morrow. I would say he has some bi curiosity, but that he has never acted upon it, probably becouse of insecurity about his own sexuality. What orrow asks if it would put you off if he was, is a really important question, a lot of guys just asume it puts their girlfriend off if they are bi or has bi thoughts and therefore never tell. Have you tried fingerfucking his ass when you give him head/hand?
It would be somewhat hard to digest because he hasn't been "honest" most likely no, I would not be able to. I've never voiced that to him but that is my respectful opinion. What makes you even say that he is bi btw? Obviously that is horrific to even think. I cannot answer that.
What makes you say that he has "bi curiosity" ? I have somewhat put my finger near there and he pulls away but on the phone he has told me that if I really want to give him a rim job for example, I can.
everything in his behaviour says it, and the fact that he claims to be homophobic in 99,9% of the times it's the homophobics that has the most homosexual fantasies but never acted uppon them due to their own insecurity about their sexuality. It also strikes me that he seems to be almost begging for you to "catch him out" if that makes sense, I would say that subconciously he is hoping for your approval of bisexuality and that you'd push him in that direction while ofcourse still being in a relationship with you, if he could achive that it would then transfer responsability of him being bisexual over to you and if at somepoint his sexuality would be a topic of an argument for the two of you he could always claim that it was you who wanted him to go that way, plus if some of his buddies found out he could again just claim that he just does it to make you happy. But as I said I don't even think he is aware conciously of this. Oh and for the reccord I am a bisexual male myself, so it's nnot just something grabbed out of thin air.
Oh and also I should probably say that a lot of straight men has or have had bi/homosexual fantasies without acting upon them
What behaviour specifically though? I do agree with you that most of the time homophobes have homosexual thoughts. Can I also ask why it strikes to you that he is almost begging for me to catch him out? How do you suggest where I go from here? I will spending 9 weeks with him in a couple of days so I do want to eventually mention this. It won't be the our first discussion of course as I do not want to intrude and accuse - just in case. Do I sit him down? Not mention it? Advice? Thank you.
Well the whole watching men masturbate thing, is a pretty strong indicator that he likes something about men. and the reasurring you that he is not gay/bi is actually also an indicator, it's kinda like when you have a crush on someone and when people tease you about it you deny it, the more you deny the more obvious it is that it is the truth that you are denying (hope this allegory makes sense). About him wanting you to cath him out there is just the thing where he says he thought you were going to say “coughing on dick” thing plus all the other stuff. It's hard to explain how I get that feeling but something is just telling me that. And how di you go from here. boy that's a though one I would say to make subtle hints about you thinking he is bisexual, and during the 9 weeks you'll be spending together maybe give him that rimjob if you are into it ofcourse then slide your fingers in and when/if he likes it then just ask him what the difference is if it's a girls fingers/tongue or mans dick. also just for information does he like anal sex. Giving it I mean? And if you don't mind me asking about his age also.
I know exactly what you're saying about the "feeling you get" from what I have written as this is how I've felt. I once asked him if he ever wants to give anal as he never mentioned and he said it's not a must and that obviously he would be open to trying it but doesn't exactly get that turned on by it. Not a fetish of his - apparently. This is how I also feel which is good. He never plays with my ass either to be honest. He is 23 in a month.
Okay seems like he prefers to recieve anal then or has some sort of fantasy about it, since he want's you to rim him. so he is till young and maybe scared of what he would lable himself if he were to act on the gay/bi fantasy. do you guys lve in a conservative/religious neighbourhood/place? Sorry for all the questions but I am just tryoing to understand him better.
It doesn't really sound like he wants me to rim him though. I cannot remember but something came up about rimming on the phone, he said he will give me one and that if I'm adamant to give him one then he will accept it. Every time I've gone somewhat near there in person, he shies away. He has also never asked me directly to touch him/lick/finger his ass. I even said to him once that I could try giving him a prostate massage (this was when we initially started dating) and he said that a bj will suffice. I even jokingly once said that I could use a strap on and he was very much against it. He was actually unaware of the term I used, pegging. He thought it meant to use kitchen condiments, such as a carrot or a vegetable of some sort, not a dildo strapped on. I'm Caucasian and obviously very western. He is Asian, conservative parents but studying overseas so fairly western, similar to me also in his way of thinking. Don't be sorry, I appreciate your help more than anything!
Damn who says no to pegging Some bisexuals and hell even gays don't like anal sex so he could be one of those (not being judgmental here). Hmmmm from what I know about asian culture it might very well be that it is this that makes him not wanting to admit to himself that he has bisexual fantasies. if he likes to masturbate in doggy style and wants you to come from behind that makes no sense for him not to want anal sex.
Weeeeeeeeeell let's see now, he gets hard around you all the time= He's almost certainly not gay, unless he's the world's greatest actor! With regards the wanking on all fours thing....that is pretty odd IMO.....but, I doubt it suggests anything about his sexual orientation. Now, specifically with the is he bi thing - My hunch would be he's homophobic in part or maybe even mostly because he's aware of the fact that some folks sometimes perceive as being less than stereotypically masculine <<< Which really isn't the same as actually being worried about being outed as being gay/bi etc....tis a common phenomenon among young dudes.....he'll probably grow out of when he''s a bit older and learns to care less about what people think of him.
Sounds to me like you don't trust him. You keep asking him if he is and he assures you not, then you fight with him about it. You are emasculating him. Maybe he likes his ass tight and in shape so that he can take your spankings. Nothing wrong with a person liking his body or having pride in it, sounds like he works in it, If he says he isn't bi take his word for it, if you can't than leave.. When you argue about it you are suggesting he is a liar. If I was with someone who kept asking me if I was bi or a lesbian over and over after saying no I am not it would piss me off too. I am sure he knows what he is.
I completely agree with what you just said. He gets hard looking at her, meaning that he is totally into her, and all the other unusual things he's doing, means he's just a little unusual, and that's it.
He is not bi or gay at all, just a little different. Avoid doing anything that you think will make him uncomfortable, and be open and honest with him about what makes you uncomfortable. If you don't want your man to be bi/gay tell him upfront that you don't want that.
