...so as embarrassing it is to post this, I need help. I am in a wonderful relationship with a man I adore. He's affectionate, attentive, and a breath of fresh air compared to the jerks I've dated in the past. Here's the thing...we don't really connect sexually. I think part of it is me, as it's been a while since I've had sex, and I think I'm always worrying about me "doing it" right to please him so I don't really get into it. Here are the other factors: 1) His penis is rather short and I have a big ass (26 inch waist, 39 inch ass). So doggy style doesn't really work for us. It's like we can never quite get the positioning right and he pops out. 2) Even in missionary, if he tries to long stroke or pound a little hard, he pops out. The more it happens the more apprehensive I get then I start to dry out. 3) He's cut WAY back on the foreplay, and I'm at a point where we may need to address why he doesn't go down on me. If he does, it's not for long (which is disappointing because he's amazing at it). He doesn't really caress me or even kiss much. Just a few obligatory pecks and he's ready to roll... most of the time I'm not quite "ready" and not wet enough to enjoy it yet. 4) ...and he hardly EVER cums. He can go a long time, but after about an hour, I start to dry out (not to mention that he hasn't really done much to get me wet in the first place). So... I'm more functionally wet than aroused. So he will go for an extended period of time then just kinda goes limp. I know sex is a mind thing (well for girls it is), so the fact that he's not cumming or engaging in foreplay messes with me and I end up going dry or feeling awkward and things just don't go right. I'm open minded and I love him, and I want to get this right. Any suggestions?
You really need to talk this stuff out with him. Though, the your penis is too small stuff you should probably think of some other way of presenting. But I'm not entirely sure what you are hoping anyone on here might be able to help you with. This all sounds very much like it's a lack of communication between the two of you.
I think having a few drinks together before and during sex will help. Those drinks do help both men and women. Many parents lay this big taboo thing on their children about sex. And as time goes by the booze is less and less required. Having all sorts of sex together becomes the exciting experience it should be. Many guys are as prudish as some women.
For a small penis, I'd definitely recommend cowgirl, it'll allow him to have maximum penetration in you. As for foreplay, there's two routes you can take. Talking to him would obviously be the best route, or you can take an aggressive approach and just force him to go down on you. Like, while he's down there, force his head down into you and hold him there, or squeeze your thighs around him so he's kinda locked there. It benefits both of you; you get more foreplay, he gets the thrill of being ever so slightly dominated, but in a non-humiliating way, which is a turn on! If staying wet is a problem, definitely invest in lube. I use lube with all my partners; it can be messy, but it feels amazing and you don't have to worry about going dry. And for getting him to cum...hmm i wish i had that problem with my boyfriend haha...perhaps switching to cowgirl will let you ride him really hard and fast and get him to cum faster?
I agree, first you need to communicate with each other... before you get into bed. Maybe get a book about sex and positions and read it together and highlight the parts that you each like. There are dozens of other positions to try... (your feet up over his shoulders is one to try)... Watch some porn together. Try a little romance... candlelight, soft sexy music, food (strawberries, chocolate, etc). If you are not aroused, start earlier.. texting, sexting... try some flavored lubes. Try some kinky things to get things going and spice things up... blindfolds, hand cuffs Write an erotic novel together, both of you saying things you want your main characters to do.. that are actually things you each want to do...
I have been with really small men, and it is hard...... you are not gonna cum with them inside, so he is gonna have to use fingers and tongue. Unfortunately you are gonna have to tell him how you feel and what you need. If he is not willing to listen, then I think you may need to part ways....... you will grow to resent him if this continues...
First of all, you need to talk it out. Second, you mention he doesn't do much to get you aroused. Are you doing anything to get him aroused other than just being available? Try wearing sexy lingerie. Flirt with him. Seduce him. Make him WANT to pleasure you. Maybe even incorporate massage or toys into the situation. Remember men want to feel sexy and wanted too. Just being available for sex won't always necessarily excite them forever. For all you know, he might be feeling the same way. As far as the small penis thing goes, I've never had a small one, so I don't have any first hand advice there.
Sounds like he isn't pleasing you, my friend. Definite need of conversation and NEW activities. It's sounds like all that will get old really fast. Connection is good, but healthy sex lives are a plus too.
Maybe the dude just has a hang-up about his cock and it's caused him to just not be into sex. I don't mean that in a disrespectful way at all but it could happen. If most of his experiences have been unsatisfactory...maybe he just looks at it as something he needs to do in order to get the part of the relationship he values more. If that's the case, you could float the idea of you having a little discrete action on the side but I don't know if that's very wise to do with someone in that frame of mind. But then again....he may be perfectly happy to have the great relationship he has and let you do that. It might even turn him on. But tread lightly.
U need to spice things up I know talking to him might be the best idea but I know I hate talking about what I want sexually I'd rather just show u. U want him to go down on u move his head down there and when he tries to come up too soon hold it there. U wanna be fingered put his hands there. After a while he will know what u like and it should be good. I've never dealt with a small dick because well I just won't lol sorry I know what I need and I'd rather not waste anyone's time. If his dick is too small maybe introduce some toys in there. Let him have a hole and use a toy for the other. Since he's small offer him ur ass and let the toy handle the vagina
We've had drinks before, and he usually just passes out. Thankfully, we talked about the bedroom in our "happy" state, and he said that he likes giving oral (he did in the past and was great), but there's still been no action. I've done the lingerie thing, left sexy notes, etc and it still ends up being a jack hammer session. We're both really busy so we have to squeeze in time to spend together, and he's really not a romantic type of guy. I gave him a massage once, and he said he really wasn't into it. He's seven years younger than me, so maybe I will have to break out the old teacher mode. We'll see. I was thinking of playing a game where we don't go "all the way"... just have a really hot makeout session (sometimes that is SOOOO hot). I dunno. I really care about him, but I start to worry that it's something that I'm doing to turn him off. I did have a mishap a few months ago when I was between birth control pills and it caused spotting and really weird looking discharge. Since then, he hasn't really done oral. I have since cleared up that issue and even take EXTRA care to keep things ready for him (brazilian and pineapple...). I just feel like he's grossed out by it and has stopped. ...sigh...I've never had this issue. Every other man I've dated has been MORE than happy to go down on me and actually taught me a thing or two. Guess it will be the other way around...
You finally found a good man, but he isn't your sexual match. Now go find another good man who is more to your sexual liking. He's out there. Sincerely, good luck!
