all i feel is pain. a lot of pain. i can't s top. nothing comforts me. i had no childhood at all. i'm native to some town in europe...and we moved to america. i nearly died when i was 5. i was like on my death bed. my head started spinning and i started hearing god's voice call my name. i was so sad. i knew it was the end but then i was pulled out of it. the thing is...how am i suppose to live without a childhood? nothing? where were all these people who make children's lives happy who give them memories when i was little? did i not count as a child? it doesn't make sense. it seems like everyone has something, but when i was 4, i was sniffing white out. i tried hard to find a memory but there's nothing. the only close thing to it is that some man gave me this cheap little pony in a shop. he asked me if i was a good girl and if i was helping mommy and daddy and doing homework. he ran a shop that sold pony stuff. like my little pony. it was magical. that's my only childhood memory. the rest was just scolding and punishment. i can't stop crying.
anababin........You Are In Need Of Help........Don't Waste Your Time Here.......Seek "Professional" Help.......I Wish You Well.... :daisy: Cheers Glen.
I'm sorry to hear that you have had so much pain in your life. I mentioned calling 211 or visiting 211.org in another thread This info might help too, but I don't know if it is up to date or not ------- Adult Survivors of Child Abuse Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (ASCA) Morris Center for Healing from Child Abuse PO Box 14477 San Francisco , CA 94114 Phone: (415) 928-4576 tmc_asca@dnai.com http://www.ascasupport.org/ Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (ASCA) supports and assists survivors of child abuse to move on with their lives. In addition, ASCA was created with the intention of guaranteeing that all survivors of childhood abuse, regardless of their financial situation, have access to a program focused on recovery from childhood abuse, including physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse or neglect. --------------------------------- Counseling might help, or joining a support group
You feel depressed because you idealize about what a childhood should have been like and your past did not exceed up to those expectations. I'm sorry about that, but if you're going to get upset over everything that doesn't turn out as you expect it to, then you're going to be one very miserable person. That's life, it isn't predictable and you need to learn to accept that and make the best of what comes your way; plain and simple. What's worse about your scenario is that you're obviously an adult and yet you're still crying about what could have been. Get over it and focus on the present. So you had a shitty childhood? Heaps of kids wish they were grown up anyway; so make the most of your adult time instead. Be the best you can be and stop focusing on how a situation could have been, instead focus on what is currently happening and be in the moment. If the situation isn't fun, then it's probably exiting in some way or another, and if its not, then make it exiting. Push over a display in a supermarket or something and then run away. You won't get caught, and if you do, all they'll do is make you clean it up. You'll have some worker with you cleaning and then you can make a new friend. If they don't want to be friends, then deliberately annoy them for fun because they can't do anything bout it until the mess is cleaned up. Perhaps that seems like rambling. My point is that life is what you make it, and if you're looking for the bad side, you're going to find it. The trick is to make the best of every situation. Good luck. -Ash
