I can't go into work today because...

I can't come in to work today because I sorta forgot where it is

 

because my house is flooded

 

Because my butt is glued to the chair in front of my computer.

 

I can't come in to work today because I ran out of :coffee:

 

...because I forgot to sleep.

 

I lost my glass eye and the cat ate my car keys

 

I need a new hat, sweetie

 

I need to do laundry instead

 

I could kiss it and make it better.:2thumbsup:

 

But all means please do, Tazer!!

Can't go in to work today because I'm waiting for my nail polish to dry!

 

I wont be able to make it in today...
I woke up in Texas with no pants.

 

I can't come into work today because I've got a bone in my leg

 

I can't come into work today because I cut my toe-nails last night.

 

I can't come into work today because I'm clean out of ergs

 

I can't come into work today because the voice that told me to kill the pizza delivery boy is still speaking....

 

I can't come into work because I'm receiving vibes that some berserk maniac is thinking to kill me while I make my deliveries

 

I can't come into work today because,well,it's MONDAY,innit!

 

I can't come into work today because I'm not here to take your call, please leave a message after the tone

 

I can't come in to work today because the SWAT team has surrounded my house.

 

Can't come to work today or anyday, for that matter 'cuz I can't take the Subliminal Messages in the Muzak anymore.