Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 5 months now and we've been having sex for about 3. We were both virgins, so we explored a lot together and our sex is fine now. However, 1 thing keeps bothering me; I can't get her to orgasm. She said she has touched herself before, but rarely. So she doesn't know what she likes and what feels good. Also, she has never had an orgasm before. Because I want sex to be as much fun as possible for her, I want to make her orgasm as well. I found the G-spot and tried to make her squirt, but she's too unsure (thinking urine will come out), can't relax and hence can't orgasm through G-spot stimulation. Also, I've tried clitorial stimulation, but I'm either doing it wrong or she's really unsensitive down there. How can I make her climax?
If she never touched herself (or rarely but never brought herself to an orgasm). Then it's gonna be very hard for you to bring her to an orgasm. Maybe she should try to bring herself to an orgasm first, that way she will get to know her body and know how to bring herself to an orgasm. Maybe you could masturbate mutually (masturbating one in front of the other... It's very easy for a guy to get to an orgasm, some of them can't stop themselves and cum in 2 minutes. But girls are more complicated (yes I admit it). We need to get to know our bodies first, then we can have an orgasm with our boyfriend.
Well @zondra the answer isn’t as simple as you would expect. There isn’t necessarily a guidebook to making your significant other orgasm. It takes a whole lot of confidence and comfortably with the situation and one another. Orgasms are a natural occurring thing, if the right spots or techniques or unlocked they will come (no pun intended). In my experience, the female during intercourse should never be looking to have an orgasm because it will just lead to a lot of over-analysis on her part and lot of frustration on yours. If its not working or you find yourself getting frustrated, don’t be alarmed rather take your time and engage in more foreplay. Orgasms typically are more mental then anything and if she’s really in the moment the orgasm will be easier to attain. Persistence and experimentation are some of the most vital characteristics one needs when it comes to achieving an orgasm for the first time. Now lets talk about being comfortable with one another. Assure her that you wont be offended if she tells you that there is something that your doing wrong or it doesn’t feel right in a certain position. I mean you guys are each other’s first so everything is a new and invigorating experience. Buttons need to be pushed, places need to be explored, in order to gain more experience figure this whole sex thing out. The clitoris for example, is one of the most confusing body parts for males to get their head around. You’ll be amazed what a little (scratch that) a lot of lubrication will do for the clitoris. Because its not directly located in the vagina rather slightly above, the Clitoris does not self lubricate requiring you to do it yourself, if that’s with spit or other lubricants you may use. Now what you must also realize is that it’s extremely sensitive. It’s not like the tip of your penis; once it gets erect everything that touches it feels good. So you just cant attack it, you have to remain delicate yet firm enough so she can feel the stimulation. I hope I provided you with a little bit of help @zondra, keep your head up and stay confident it will happen in no time
I guess I was married 2 years before my now ex got me to the O. He loved oral sex and one day he was going down on me when I was in a very relaxed state (physically) and it just happened. After that it was maybe 5 years before I learned to "squirt". He would tell me I didn't "squirt" because I was cumming the whole time a little at a time. Now, among other things, I love playing with my bf with my vibrator. There's something about the vibration that sends me over the top. Good luck and you know what? If you have to work hard to find the place you want to be at with your girl, I bet you're going to enjoy the ride.
It's great that you want your girl to climax, and a staggering number of women over 40 have never had an orgasm...something like 20%... Things to think about: How long is your foreplay, sensate touching especially (non-sexual touching)? Longer sensate touching can lead to more relaxation and closer to orgasm. Encourage her to touch herself, alone, to see what feels good. Experimentation with an audience may not be relaxing. A very large % of women cannot have a vaginal orgasm, only clitoral stimulation works. Have her look at herself and see what her body looks like during arousal. Again, alone for less embarrassment. Small vibes are good to start with to find the perfect spot. Once she experiences it, she will want it again and again. But she has to feel relaxed in the experimenting. You cannot pressure her or she may not get there. Good luck! As renogirl said, enjoy the ride!
Zondra...I didn't see it written here, so I will say it - less than 25% of gals are able to have vaginal orgasm through intercourse. So there is a 75% chance - that may never happen for you both by intercourse alone. For my wife, it is a combination of my oral and her fingers. I have never been able to do it all on my own. Exactly like sexologystudent said - only she knows what movement/pressure when and where at what moment. After being married for a good 10 years - by shear accident she discovered that when she is riding on top if she sort of grinds back and forth while I am deep inside her - basically rubbing her clit on on my lower abdomen - she can get an O maybe half the time. I was elated. HUUUGE turn on. We have managed to both cum at the same time maybe 20 times in 26 years. And that has always only been when she is especially turned on. So friend - it is not an easy task for most. And the advise for mutual masturbation...spot on. Just you don't rush yourself, the first few times we did that you would have thought I was a virgin...like 2 minutes and I was finished. It takes a bit of practice to not cum right away when a naked female is right on front of you rubbing herself. Damn...I am all flustered just thinkin about it.
Some very good posts here which will certainly help. You could also try sexually stimulating her with some sensual foreplay, which should increase her sexual arousal and will certainly help her achieve an orgasm. I would suggest you sexually stimulate her erogenous zones to by touching or licking them. You could also try touching and licking her toes and feet to or any other part of her body. If you're still having problems after all of that then try dressing up for sex, use some visual sexual stimulation by wearing sexy panties, stockings and suspenders. Talking dirty to her is another good way to arouse your partner, sexual chat can be a very big turn on. You shouldn't have any problems making her cum after trying all of this.
The same s with me. I cannot orgasm at all. I felt it just a couple of times...but now, this ability disappeared(
Sex is a mental thing for women. Don't ever say, "I want to make you come/squirt/orgasm tonight" to her. If you do, she will feel very anxious and pressured. Therefore, she won't be able to squirt or come even though you have all the right techniques. She is more likely to reach that peak when she is relaxed. Just let the sex sessions be natural. The more you try to force an orgasm out of her, the more both of you disappoint. Let's face it, even the pros can't even make their girl orgasm every single time. Referring to G-spot stimulation, ask her to urinate first before the action. I assume you already know the right technique so I'm not going to elaborate here. As for the clitoral stimulation, try not to touch or lick on the clitoral head directly at first. Tease her by licking her in the sequence below: 1) inner thighs 2) the joint between her inner thighs and labia majora 3) labia majora (the outer lips of vulva) 4) labia minora (the inner lips of vulva) Remember to do it slowly, sensually and passionately. If she looks down on you, look back and keep eye contact while doing your job. Clitoris extends along and beneath the skin of labia. So when you're licking it, she will expect you to lick her clitoris next. DON'T LICK ON HER CLIT SO SOON! Keep on teasing her by going back and forth or by reversing the sequence above. Some girls can't stand this kind of teasing and will even beg you to lick directly on her clit! Let her beg for a few times before you lick on it. Try it. If girls who masturbate know their body more than those who don't. They can show you how to stimulate them down there if they masturbate. Coax her to masturbate if she is not doing it already. Don't be too pushy. I hope you succeed!
If she is not experimenting wig herself this will be hard mate. She doesn't know she can't tell you google how to make a girl cum instruction video watch it with her. Vaginal organism are better vs clitoral organism try practice communicate share etc Advise you love her and want to grow sexually together.
