I can't...finish...

hey butters, i have a similar problem to you. for right now i have given up. I dont have a gf long enough to discuss and solve my problem. I cant get off quite easily by myself, but I have only been able to get off once by a girl. Once. I think maybe my problem is that im too worried. Im worried about her ability to cum, people comming in, and most importantly im worried about me. Just the thought of me not being adequate ruins it for myself. It is a ridiculous loop.

I hope you dont have such a severe case.

 

Without good sex the relationship sours as the days and years go by. Good sex is an affirmation of your love and appreciation for each other.

 

Well, it seems I'm going to get the chance to try it again... and she's finally going to be able to let loose....

On Saturday night, her friend is house-sitting, and said we could stay there and do whatever She's a person who does not care in the least what we would do, or how loud we were (but no, we're not going to have a threesome, I wouldnt ever do that, haha)

 

BF - you have "performance anxiety" which almost every guy experiences sometime. Try to focus on what is in front of you - a hot, hot girl, and not whether you are going to get it up and cum. Relax and let it flow. Have a drink or two (but no more) or a little weed.

You get erect because a chemical, nitric oxide, flashes from your brain to your penis and opens the capillaries in the two sacks in the shaft, the corpus cavernosa, and blood rushes in and engorges the penis. If the phone rings, or you are worried about someone walking in or whether you can cum, the chemical chain is broken and you start to get soft. You really do screw with your brain, which is the largest sex organ. Try to keep your eye on the ball, or in this case, the vagina, and shut out all distractions, or have sex where the chance of someone walking in is nil.

 

See thats just the thing... I never get soft, not once. I just keep on going for 45 minutes, and still nothing happens.

Also, like I said in the previos post, saturday night the chance of someone walking in will be 100% nil, so we're really going to finally be able to let loose...

 

Butters - Let's see - you are circumcised, you can masturbate to orgasm easily, you use ultrasensitive condoms in intercourse, you do a lot of foreplay (I think), you don't lose your erection for 45 minutes of trying to ejaculate, but you still can't come.

You say you are a virgin, but I am not sure of that - is a virgin a guy who has not had intercourse to orgasm, or a guy who has not inserted his penis in a vagina? Interesting question, but let's say you are no longer a virgin and more on.

The problem does not seem to be physical, because you can ejaculate, so it must be mental. Something in your brain is blocking your ability to orgasm. When I am getting ready to cum there are unmistakable feelings in my genital area of "loading up" for the big moment, as the sperm move from my testicles and mix with the semen in my prostate gland. Do you ever feel that sensation?

Other thoughts - Is it fear of pregnancy (but you are using a condom), of someone walking in? (You will cure that one this weekend.)

I have a feeling that once the orgasm happens, the whole problem will be behind you. Also, sometimes too much alcohol or pot can deaden the senses and prevent orgasm. Is that an issue for you? PM me if you want to discuss this more privately.

 

I'm thinking maybe the main problem is that there never seems to be much foreplay... It seems everytime I start to fool around down there, she starts to go crazy and just imidietly wants sex. I mean, of course I want sex, but I really really want some time to prepare and everything...I love foreplay, and I think it would help me with my situation, but she always seems to want to skip that step...


Oh yea, and the thing with the house-sitting fell through... so we now haven't had sex in over a month...

 

Butters - believe me - if there are "little problems" that bother you in the relationship now, they will become chasms later on. You better cure the problem now, re: your girlfriend just wanting you to "go for the gold", without the foreplay. Most guys have it in reverse, wanting to get inside her right away, skipping the foreplay,with the woman wanting to go slower. Sounds like your girlfriend just does not like sex, and is just going through the motions to accommodate you. Solve the problem now, or move on.

 

No, it isnt that. The problem is that her ex of 4 years was like an "average guy", who wants to just get in, do his thing, and get out. Her body has never experienced being treated the way I treat it. She's not used to foreplay at all. All she's ever been used to is the guy just wanting to stick it in and nothing more.

 

A thing I noticed is if ur minds not fully saying Oh how good it feels your body wont, exaggerate to yourself how good it feels and how you think its gonna go any time