" I can't F**k you 'cause I'm F**king someone new"

How do you say to your visiting ex that you are involved with someone else?
I have chatted frequently with EX since our split last year.
He moved west, I stayed east.
He's coming home to visit family.
I've never alluded that I was dating (re: fucking my roomate)
He returns soon and he wants to see me (ALL of me) and I can't find the balls to belly up and admit I can't.

Who out there has gone through this before? What happened to you?
He was my first love (I know, Bleh-mushy!)

If I'm honest, I just really want to lay down on top of him naked. The sex was always amazing!

Help!

 

so do him
and do the other guy





just be careful

 

My advice would be to come clean and be honest.

I've been in your boyfriends shoes before and the girl who I dated the longest and was her first love did that to me twice. I forgave her the first time fairly quickly, the second time I didn't talk to her for two years. Then when I did resume talking to her, I visited her and she attempted to get in my shorts again, but wouldn't offer commitment so I said no afterwhich she blew me off for several months.

We could've been great friends, but I simply don't trust her, so I no longer talk to her.

Every situation is different, but I'd recommend that you are honest with him.

As corny as it sounds, honesty is ALWAYS the best policy

 

tell him
if he's cool, fuck him
but tell the other person too eh
(and protection, don'tn forget the protection)

 

Tell them both, just be honest.

 

I spoke with the one I'm with now. He asked if I really wanted to see him ('really' is code for 'sleep with him') I said "I don't know but...." Then he went off! "I'm done I'm done that's it!" He hung up and we met later so he could tell me what a fraud I was. Our views on this relationship are on 2 different plains. To him we are married with babies and to me we're having alot of fun!? I doubt I'll sleep with EX. Gotta let it end sooner or later right? I was honest though, yay me!

 

Just wait till you ARE married and your other half tells you she is having a hard time choosing but doesn't want to lose you.

 

second that!!!!

 

Why don't you really END the first relationship before going into a NEW ONE!
It sounds like you are a controlling bitch who wants to keep two guys on a string as toys.

 

why u never told him about u sleeping with ur roomate?
that is the question to answer to urself
dou want to get back with him or what? if not so be open and say that u moved on and now u are with new man...better be open..u never know he may bump into him and then u will look like a lier.....he may have new girl himself and u may end up having one.hmm for the old time sake......as long u are honest and no one has hidden agenda and u use protection.....well it depends on ur morals

 

What a **** !!! People like you deserve other with the same morals and thoughts, which are worthless !

 

:huh: This thread is almost two years old and the original poster hasn't been here since her last post. How did you manage to find this and why did you bother to resurrect it?

:chill: dude! It's useless to get pissed off and insult her at this point since she doesn't visit this site anymore.

 

She is still a **** no matter where she is !!! heheheh

 

I can totally understand this and this situation and it sucks. I'm going through the same situation. It sucks because ex boyfriends make you believe that they will never get back with you and they tell you to move on so when you finally move on, they come back. AAAGGGHHHH!!! The hardest part is that they were the ones who broke up with us and we went through a lonely phase of missing them terribly--wanting them back so bad [where as if you're the person who broke up with them, then of course you're the stronger one because it was easy for you to stop things and to let go of them than the one who was broken up with]...so of course if they come running back, we're going to think about it twice. The reason why we moved on in the beginning is that we were thinking about survival and making ourselves happy by meeting someone new and giving some chances out there to see if dating them could be worth it. There's nothing wrong with that--people do that and it's a normal thing to do. If you need happiness, you try and find it. Who would want to stay sad? The worst feeling in the world is letting other people take control over your life and your decisions. It's good to get advice but it's hard to do the advice, especially when you aren't a big fan of rejecting people face to face. Some people don't want to hurt others so they hurt themselves by doing sacrifices for everyone else in place to make everyone else happy. This is where we mess up. We tend to be big push overs and it's because we need more confidence.

It's easy to get confidence...you get it by spending time on your own to give yourself time to think and to have time to see what you like, approve, and disapprove of in life....it helps you know what you want in life. Spending time on your own will help you think more positive in life and it will also free your mind from drama and sadness in relationship-type situations. Relationship-type situations tend to hold its drama here and there. When I was single, I felt more carefree and happy. I felt like there was nothing to worry about, and I felt good thinking about making myself happy rather than making someone else happy too as well. It's the best feeling when you're happy with yourself because you learn to love yourself.

Honesty is a good thing but honesty is hard for people who are afraid to be open with hurting others. If I were you, since you're not 'serious' with your roommate yet, I'd tell him that you'd want some time alone and that having 2 guys is too much to handle. Wouldn't you want to be attracted to one, and one only? Wouldn't you want to get rid of the pressure and feel free again to where you have nothing to worry about? Since you're not dating your roommate, it's easy to just let him go and tell him that you want your ex bf back. Obviously, things with you and your ex boyfriend seem to be able to pick up where you 2 left off because he still wants you but I get the feeling that your room mate interests you more because he's someone new to your world. You are probably feeling that you also don't want to look like a jerk. I hate to admit this, but if you need to start taking control over hat you need to do.

If you are looking for someone to fall in love with, I'd say go for the one who you feel you can love forever. Quality beats quantity. Good quality creates happiness, and happiness is a wonderful feeling to have rather than confusion. Love is everlasting.

If you are looking for someone to have fun with, then I'd say don't take either of them seriously [but let them know that you don't want to be serious] so it won't hurt anybody.

There are worst situations out there:
married people seeing other people
people seeing more than 2 people
people who are <i>dating</i> more than 1 person
etc...

This is the beginning of your situation. Do something about it now before you become disappointed at yourself.

 

Id say stop messing both of those guys about and tell them whats going on.