Hi, whenever I try to talk to someone about something like mythology or science or beliefs or anything, I loose my train of thought and can't really think, I just listen to what the other person has to say. I am actually fairly intelligent and I like to talk to people, but when it comes to having to tell others my beliefs or something, I freeze up and can't really find the correct words to accurately describe what is going through my mind and what I want to say. What should I do to fix this? Have you ever experienced social anxiety?
One way to sort of prepare yourself for this is to write it down. Often when we write things down it helps us to organize our thoughts and be able to express them aloud much easier than if we are having to answer on the fly. Any subject you wish you were more eloquent in - write it down in different ways and from different approaches until you feel at ease. I promise you if you do that (writing down how you feel or believe - several different ways), you will find it much less difficult to state whatever you want. The only time I've had serious social anxiety was when performing on the piano in front of a crowd; but I know a number other people that have severe social anxiety in general. For one thing, its best to avoid being alone in a crowd. Good luck.
Social anxiety for me is not so much a loss of words as it is being uncomfortable (anxious) in social situations, like more than 3 people. I know what you're talking about however, sometimes ideas don't really flow or translate to your mouth in the way you intend. Sometimes I think this loss of words May be due to not having as component a grasp on a subject as we may think we have. Also, I think there are different pathways for thought and speech too, which when in a dynamic environment, may account for some of the inability to express oneself.
I would definitely go along with that. It's something I've often done myself - not because of social anxiety, but I have found that if you have a problem, or are unsure of the way to go, writing things down can be really helpful. For one thing, it helps you get a calm perspective, and just the act of writing can put things into a different frame. I know how uncomfortable social anxiety can be. I used to suffer with it in my youth, when I used to worry intensely over my appearance, my outward image. I guess I just grew older and got out of it, but I can still recall some of the problems it used to cause me, and really, totally unnecessarily. I'd also say that you would probably be better talking to people one to one maybe than trying to get you ideas across to a group. Good luck with it anyway.
Sometimes its a matter of just being focused on-----oh look there goes a rabbit! ...umm, so where was I? Oh, yeah----that's why I use creamer in my coffee... Seriously, all joking aside-----I used to feel that way as a teenager when talking to my dad. It may also be related somewhat to a time when I was living in Japan and still learning to speak Japanese---I would worry more about understanding the conversation then what I was going to say, many other times I would worry about what I was going to say and that it wouldn't make sense. Either way it seemed like I would mess up my words, or I wouldn't express what I wanted to. Could it be that you are overthinking the conversation, and how you will fit into it--whether or not you will make an impressive intelligent contribution? Yet you probably have more to say than others on many of the subjects. And even if you didn't, you surely would not have anything less to say. Surely you aren't stuck talking to only Doctor's of mythologhical studies, and scientists, right? If these are interests to you, you probably have a better handle on them than many of the people you talk to. Don't sweat it---just get into the flow of the conversation and interject!!! Yes----I know----you are probably saying "That's easy for you to say..." But you know that you are intelligent, and that you have something to say (and WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE HAVE NOTHING TO SAY AND YET SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE). If you had more confidence in your abilities to converse would that solve your problems? My solution would be for you to practice. Have conversations with yourself----pretending that you are talking with someone else, in the shower, in your bedroom behind closed doors---where ever. (I especially like the shower). I am a writer----and I even do this to work out passages in my books or to figure out things that I am hung up on, or even to get a new perspective (and by the way----my writing is non-fiction and deals quite a bit with myth and science). More importantly---back in the days as I was learning Japanese, and achieved a level where I could speak enough to get myself into trouble, but did not feel fluent enought to really keep up with the people I was talking to (which was actually more an issue of my confidence than my ability) then I would later----back in the shower----go through the conversations I had, only this time I would answer the way I wished I had, and then they would respond accordingly and the conversation would turn out completely differently in my head. In fact when I was treated unfairly, or verbally attacked, I would stand up for myself in the shower the way I wish I had with passion. Anyway, as I did this, I gained confidence as I could see for myself how effectively I could express myself in Japanese, it was good practice, and it helped me communicate more effectively. Maybe it might help you too.
I'm the exact same way, a lot of people underestimate my intelligence because of this. I can express myself in writing or amongst one or two people I've known for a while, but in groups or with strangers it is pretty much impossible for me to hold an intelligent conversation so I just make stupid jokes instead. A lot of people think I'm ditzy until they get to know me.
mine is that i don't need personal contact with other people as much as they insist on convincing each other they do. if you write down your thoughts when there's no one else around to distract you from thinking them through, they become easier to remember what you mean by them when you do.
beliefs, feelings.....lots of things cannot be expressed accurately....... let's see....sweet gentle talk....no? passionate flair?.......no? body language and eye contact and facial expression and tone of voice...oh, that's right, can't do that on the internet....so,. no.... getting frustrating here.....lol humor....hey, got a spark of life there!.......... i don't give up too easily.....whenever I have something to say.....until maybe my quiettude will be heard...idk.... just some thoughts inspired by your comment there.....
Yes I agree! Sometimes the words that come out of my mouth arent correct, even if i DID think about it beforehand. I found that doing research and writing down what i think is interesting can help me. taking notes out of a book possibly! but yes thank you!
