"I can't come into work today because..."

gotta watch the leaves fall....

 

i got abducted by aliens

 

My fish was floating belly up and I thought it was so cute I had to rub his belly all day.

 

im in love

 

i just got a prince alberts done

 

ew...

I can't come into work today because I'm campaigning for obama

 

i have some 'splaining to do

 

there are cameras everywhere and the cia could be monitoring the tapes out at any time

 

because today is my slow motion day

 

i've been called to the scene of a murder investigation.

 

I was raped by a tornado

 

i choked on boiling hot coffee

 

Dick Cheney shot me in the face

 

im in a coma

 

I forgot where I work

 

i am attached to my front door

 

Im busy beating up my grandma

 

Im racing lawnmowers with my neighbor today

 

i've got a counter strike source tournie and i'm seeing it through.

 

Im entertaining the Aliens for the day