"I can't come into work today because..."

got frost on the punkin...

 

the Viagra is still in effect

 

i got bit by a poisonous spider

 

I got kidnapped by redneck ruffians, and they got guns....:-0

 

it's christmas day

 

I'm tongue tied...

 

my house is surrounded by armed response

 

I got gas...

 

i fell down the stairs and broke a vital bone in my spine

 

stuck in the middle of an elephant stampede...

 

i scolded myself with a boiling hot kettle.

 

I think I'm drunk.and I don't drink and drive....:cheers2:

 

a farted and my kitchen blew up.

 

my neighbor has me blocked in with his dump truck...

 

i've been up with the shits all night.

 

I have to help PsyGrunge clean up...

 

we've run out of coffee

 

forgot where I parked my truck...

 

there's no taxis

 

My poo just came out blue