"I can't come into work today because..."

Some weird American backed up his car into my tree-house

 

Im feeling a liitle down, but your all welcome to come over here & get happy with me

 

Now I cant come to work because I got that "come on get happy" Partridge song repeating over and over in my brain

 

I'm skipping down cobble stones.

 

my marriage is falling apart, my 18 year old daughter is dating a 35 year old biker, my son has depression and is failing in school, and Ive lost all sense of why I even went to law school for this job, because now that I've finally arrived, I feel more empty then I did when I started.

 

Im just going to stay home and watch Archie Bunker re-runs

 

our old LaSalle broke down...


those were the days.....

 

I've seen the light!

 

ive learned to fly, I dont need you guys anymore

 

I crash landed..

 

I'm in a traffic jam on the way to work and it looks like I won't get to work till tomorrow.

 

I: wipes with a leaf and Im all itchy...

 

Pog convention

 

i have explosive, frothy, diarriah

 

I thot it wuz Saturday man....

 

I blew out a sneaker, Man!

 

I tried to sneak out a little fart, but wow, what a mess now....

 

i died

 

You only go around once in life!

 

need bail..