"I can't come into work today because..."

I didn't smoke enough pot

 

I'm waiting for the drugs to take affect.

 

Im busy planning my "going postal" plan for next tuesday

 

I'm going to go look for Born25YearsTooLate to see why he hasn't been posting in the new "I can't come into work today because..." thread.

 

I had another Zipper accident

 

I'm supposed to come to work today?

 

^Thats right....its sunday.....a day of rest..........and Im staying home to rest

 

I got into a philosophical discussion with xexon and Sign Related at the same time on hipforums and I’m not sure I exist any more!

 

BBAD dropped by and we got toasted......

 

I smell toast....................and thats not a good thing

 

Im inside of a whale!

 

Its way too hot out......and I'm getting chaffed

 

A chaffed so hard my my ass and thighs are bleeding!!

 

Well, I'd rather not talk about.

 

Because.....I'm busy searching for the true riches of who I am and not the value of what I possess and where I am is right here....right now.

 

someone spiked my homebrew and I slept for two weeks....

 

I just got home from working yesterday!

 

because someone sent me some acid drops on a phone book in the mail and I dont know where they put it at on the paper.. I had to eat the whole book and Im shitting numbers and names like a mofo..

 

I cant come to work today because as I walked along the sidewalk this morning ....a psycho squirrel jumped out at me and zapped me with some kind of bolt of lazy lightning

 

Some nutty machanic from Canada put my trasmission in backwards and I put the car in drive and backed up into a tree...