"I can't come into work today because..."

I have a walrus at my door, and he's angrily demanding a 'blu bukkit'....

 

i'm working from home

 

an asteroid hit in my neiborhood and we're looking for its driver

 

I'm deathly ill and have multiple types of cancer. I'll be in tomorrow.

 

My mom wants some gouda...gouda...gouda...gouda.....provolone?

 

my dog ate work

 

forgot how to get there and my truck won't start, upset tummy, all my wifes and girlfriends are demanding sex, hell with work...:-0

 

preparing for winter

 

its snowing somewhere in the world....

 

I have to harvest my marshmallow fields

 

BBAD said to stay home and game with him....

 

I found a beanstalk....and I just gotta climb it and see

 

can't find my truck or my house, or even the damn farm...

 

Farmout's lost in my basement again, and I have to get him out.

 

I am at work...you just cant see me because Ive been given invisibility powers

 

I have to dig a deeper hole for all the bodies, the smell is starting to make the missus suspicious.

 

well.. i.. just.. my wife... o forget it! i whent to dunken doughnuts and dident want to leave

 

Im running with Lola...and whenever I get to work she rewinds time

 

I am reading the paper...

 

I'm glued to my computer