"I can't come into work today because..."

I'm planning my life

 

I'm going to boldly go where no man has gone before!

 

I'm figuring out what kind of person I want to be.

 

I was on my way to work and my tire fell of my car, rolled down the road,broke a farmers fence,killed a cow,went through the barn,rolled up a ramp,and landed on the roof of his neighbors Cadillac....

 

because i got my balls stuck to the ice in my freezer, and my waterheater is broken

 

I got lost on the way to work and I find myself in a place the locals call Shangri-La and I'm staying here.

 

I'm stuck in the 60's man.....

 

someone made me mad this morning..and I wont be making it in to work...anyone know the best way to remove my foot and workboot from someones ass?

 

I'm doing positive affirmations

 

BBAD tore down my fence with his awol auto tire, gotta mend some fences...

 

I'm making a fort out of empty beer cans.

 

I'm going to cut the grass....in my underwear

 

I'm trying to convince OWB that with the price of metal now, we could recycle his beer cans and buy him a real fort.

 

today I'm moving on up.....................to the east side......to a de.........luxe apartment in the sky

 

I gotta' go to a recycling center.

 

I gotta rent a uhaul for OWB's trip to the recycler

 

I'm waiting for Born25YearsTooLate to come over with the uhaul and after the recycler's were going to have enough money to take a "trip" somewhere.

 

I'm making sure I have my passport

 

I'm busy explaining to Born25YearsTooLate that you don't need a passport to take a "trip" unless it's a "passport".

 

I'm too busy being confused, and thinking that we were going to mexico for a while and do some 'tripping' while we were there....a trip to trip...