"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

ebay is way too intresting to get away from.

 

l going to hipforums today..

 

the jig is up

 

good movie on tv that l have to watch..

 

my m&ms melted in my hand

 

l've been arrested for stealing..

 

Ok that was just a bit too ESP-ish for comfort...

 

I got drafted to fight in Iran

 

I have to draft people to fight in Iran

 

I cant be in because I am tied up and being beaten by liquorice whips.

 

Girlfriend has tied me to the bed today, apparently it's her day..

 

stipid teddybearwearingoutfit motherfucker is trying to rip me off.

 

cause l don't bloody want to work.

 

because I was on aplane a bunch of stupid fuckers think never crashed and I am dead but unmourned.

 

l'm in a catatonic state today..

 

I got a cat stuck in bedlams ass and she just dont wanna make it suffer.

 

I am legally changing my name to Walter

 

a guy named waltar is trying to lick my asshole

 

I have to try and find crummyrummy so i can beat the shit out of waltar and take his place.

 

puddin knows where I work, and I am scared.