"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

I parked on the wrong side of the street and the police hauled my car away.

 

I'm stuck in OlderWaterBrother's trunk and the police have towed me away! help!


wait...take your time...I found an ounce....where'd I put my pipe...there it is...

 

I misplaced an ounce and won't be in till I find it.

 

The locksmith the cops hired to get me out of OlderWaterBrother's trunk is stoned from the smoke. this might take a while.

 

I got stoned trying to get Born25YearsTooLate out of OWB car trunk.

 

I'm sneaking away, because the cops got the munchies and left for a donut run.

besides, I have to find my stash to replace OWB's smoke

 

Because my stolen car I stole got stolen again

 

You know how they tell you every year not to hold fireworks in your hand?
I found out there are other body parts you shouldn't hold fireworks with either!

 

Trapped in the Light Cycle Arena

 

Cant come into work today.............because my cars in the shop

 

I lent the car keys to my teenager and he hasn't come home yet.

 

I couldn't come in to work because I was too busy playing forum games.

 

I am too busy playing tic-tac-toe with a chicken.

 

Dracula, cant come to work today cause I might have holy water poisoning..


Im was watching star trek on the spiketv...and was having chest pains, Doctor said I should take the night off...

 

My dog ate my nuts.

 

I'm having a bad hair day.

 

I'm watchin the grass grow.....

 

My dog ate my homework

 

I'm waiting for the drugs to kick in.

 

I'm making hash to pay OWB back for his ounce.