"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

i'm hungover.

 

I have bladder issues.... And I smell...

 

I cant stand that Mystical Shroom's bladder issue smells anymore.

 

I went to the rainbow gathering and was detained for being uncooperative.

 

I am buried up to my neck in sand ATM

 

I have bugs coming out of my vagina and they are taking over the world and turning people into zombies and I must fight them all to save the world!!

 

I am afraid of the outdoors.

 

I'm too busy knitting sweaters for the children of the world using the leg hair that I have shaved off and collected over a six year period...

 

I killed Nancy Grace and the world is giving me a reward. A Knitted Sweater..

 

I am busy popping zits.

 

I just wanted to make sure you were at work so I could shag your wife.

 

My hands wont leave my genitals

 

Born25yearsTooLate...try living in east texas. it's hell.

 

Too busy time traveling.

 

True story my snake escaped and I only had it by the tail and it was trying to go down an air duct.

 

I am stuck in the sofa cushions

 

I feel to good to waste it by coming to work.

 

Some of my bread crumbs blew away and now I am lost.

 

I'm laying a trail of breadcrumbs to lead crummyrummy into traffic.

 

Im trying to convert to Dr.Philism