"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

I will be busy all day planning your abduction, is that cool boss?

 

I have your mom tied to a chair and the ploice are outside shooting tear gas.

 

termites ate my house

 

Because........I'm Self Employed........And If I Don't Feel Like Coming Into Work Today..........Then I F***in Well Won't.....O.K.???..............Screw The Ugly... Grumpy... Hard Assed...Old Boss...I Work For....................(whoooops..............................).....


Cheers Glen.

 

my pet slug Jesse died.

 

My mammary glands hurt.......

 

I got my tie caught in the juicer.

 

My ovaries hurt???......

 

I seem to have locked myself in the bathroom.

 

I'm afraid I've swallowed the gerbil.....

 

the gerbil got outside, I gotta find it.

 

i found the gerbil... inside someone's light socket... and i had to bury it.

 

A friend of mine used to talk about "Calling in scared". Huh? What? You know, "I'm afraid I won't be in today".

I also knew a guy who used to routinely call in to tell his boss "Yeah, I got shitfaced last night and couldn't get my ass out of bed this morning." He was so good at his job, that he got away with it for about two years before a new manager finally canned him. :cheers2:

 

because I'm nodding out on narcotics.

 

there is this giant spider out side my door and it has spun a monster web, can't get through the door.....

 

My car was stolen and replaced with a blender.

 

Honestly I just don't like working. I'm taking the day off.

 

I farted and had a bad accident in my bloomers....

 

It's raining

 

i have a zit on my face and i can't show myself out of doors.