"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

hello, mr . bossperson? I am not coming in. I am dead. no really. Its a mild case, doc says I should resurrect in 3 days or so.

 

sorry boss, i'm going to superbowl!

 

I wont be in today, I am shagging your wife.

 

thats shady

 

shit i gotta get my ass to work!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I wont be intoday, I am stalking Redie* and she has to get her sweet ass to work.

 

l;'m gonna help Crummy with his stalking today.

 

I cant come into work today, my lips are chapped.

 

ummm because my butt is stuck to the washing machine.

 

sorry I wont be in tonight, my ass needs waxing.

 

the doctor put me in a straight jacket for the week.

 

stalker crummyrummy!

 

and bedlam is helping him, hmmm.. :X

 

my figers are super glued to my ass.

 

im trying to pry bedlams finger from her arse

 

to very anal today..

 

I just welded myself in my car and I am waiting for the jaws of life to come free me.

 

cause i refuse to work on weekends..

 

I ate the e on my keyboard and must now wait until my fruit loops give me a sign.

 

have the watch the Australian open womens final.... so