"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

I am starring in a reality show, and they think going to work would lower veiwership.

 

The eggnog is about to expire.

 

I have to follow pressed rat around.

 

I'm having technical difficulties beyond my control.......

 

New sofa...soooo comfy...

 

The robots are controlling my mind... beep

 

My car is parked in my bedroom, I need to figure out why.

 

I still have half a bottle of Jack Daniel's left.

 

all my clothes are on fire.

 

my cat is having babies

 

i can't come into work today because i have all this booze and piles of drugs that need to be done

 

I have to go to Canadia and visit my friend Indian~Summer

 

My paintings are all askew.

 

Three's Company marathon.

 

Ate some bad catfood.

 

I don't know what time my shift starts.

 

I can't get the hamsters out of my rectum.

 

I ran out of bullets.

 

My call girl is running late

 

I had a bad dream and I am scareded