"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

the line for the restroom at the shelter is real long and I promised to hold my mom's place in line....

 

my girlfriends fist is stuck up mu pussy..

 

my dog ate my homework.

 

l've got better things to do..

 

I havent got a job

 

alien probing again

 

Diarrhea. This excuse works all the time!

 

These are excuses I found online, they are so dumb I wouldn't dare tell my boss these. My last excuse was "I got in a car accident with my daughter"



401. I would also love to use this one....I can't come into work right now because I'm busy makin whoopee!


402. I won't be in to work today, because my liver isn't up to speed yet due to last weekend.


403. A guy I work with actually called in and said, " I'm sorry I can't make it in today. Somebody spiked my drink last night"


404. One of the better excuses I have ever used, came to me one day when I showed up to work 6 hours late without calling in. I told my boss that, "this morning I woke up only to find the 1st and 2nd floors of my house soaked and with puddles of water everywhere. There was no way I could come into work until I contacted the plumber, waited for him to come over, and started to clean up the mess. Then to top it all off I had to take another shower and find more clean clothes." When my boss asked me what had happened? I told him that one of the water pipes had snapped out of its socket and the water all night had dripped down through the walls and the ceiling for what looked like 3 hours or so. To top it all off he gave me the next 2 days off from work to deal with the problem and get my house into order. THAT WAS A GREAT 4 DAY WEEKEND!

 

l want to sleep in today..

 

I told my work a few weeks ago that I couldn't come in because the job was stressing me out so badly so I needed the day off. I always try to be honest, & I was REALLY telling the truth that day.

 

the police have me locked away today..

 

I had to lock Bedlam away today.

 

There crazy turkeys following me and I dont want them to start hanging around work too.

 

I ride into work with my aunt, she called out of work today cuz she is sick. So I also called off work...told them my back hurt & I had the runs and was spending to much time in the bathroom to work. So I guess I have extra time to be on this site tonight.

 

shit I gotta go to work!!!!!



Late

 

because l have to finish this slab of beer..... Cheers....

 

I have to buy bedlam a lot more beer to keep her happy.

 

have to teach puddin how to make a fine beer brew..

 

OOOOWWW FUCK!!!! i broke my back getting the beer for bedlam.

 

....the Penguins Are Coming.....save Yourselves Dammit....im Too Young To Die.......