"I Can't Come In To Work Today Because..."

i had a bout of mondayitis

 

I am trying to break the record for most enimas in a single 24 hour period.

 

My car is stuck in the mud at the All Good festival.

 

I have a terrrible case of going bald.

 

called in on slick leave....

 

prostitute has me chained to the radiator.

 

bbbbbut IIIImmmm retired.......

 

my tongue is stuck to a flag pole.

 

got the diareaaaaaa......

 

three stooges marathon.

 

(who's that dancin in your avatar?)

Someone stole my car.....

 

some dancing avatar has me hypnotized

 

waters up over the bridge.....

 

I am trying to win concert tickets, I gotta be the 101st caller after I hear the radio play "The Pretender".

 

damn goat ettt my truck keys.....

 

I am kidnapped, I COULD make it today, if you got 50,000 dollars for my safe return...

 

I got drafted.....

 

It's shark week on the Discovery Channel

 

have to go and dig a grave fer my pet pig.....

 

the village can just live without an idiot today. I am tired.