i cant come during sex

It's kind of nice to know I'm not alone with this issue.

 

gah, its not an issue, its completely normal. only something like a third of all women can orgasm from penetration alone. thats why we have a freaking clitoris to stimulate, either manually or with a toy, or orgasm before because it doesnt mean were finished for the night

 

Please forgive my male intrusion ... and my repitition (I posted a very similar reply in another forum), but I always marvel when women think they SHOULD climax from stimulation alone (sure sume lucky ones do, but I think it's not the "norm") ...

Let me explain my point ...

First, it should be understood that the structure of the clitoris is ROUGHLY anologous to the structure of the penis (they originate from the same tissues in utero).

Secondly, remember that the ENTIRE structure of the clitoris is NOT just the part you see or feel at the top end of the vulva; it goes MUCH deeper and has a VERY long shaft (yep, pretty much just like a penis). The "shaft" of the clitoris runs down the "sides," but slightly away from of the vagina, as it were.

​

Expecting to reach orgasm from penetration alone would be almost like saying, "Guys, can you orgasm by stimulating the lower shaft and not going anywhere near the head of the penis?" And the answer, I suspect would be VERY similar to to what you would hear (on average) with most women: "occasionally, but it's rare."

Ask your guy to try it somnetime: he should masturbate by stimulating only the lowest part of the shaft, just above the scrotum -- and be sure not to pull to tightly downward as to cause any stimulation to the glans penis or surrounding area. I doubt he'd orgasm either. I sure can't.

Women who can reach orgasm through penetration alone are (in most cases) likely having their clitorises (clitorii?) sort of "accidentally" lightly stimulated by the connective tissues (labia and clitoral prepuce, shaft, curae, etc.). In other words, the object penetrating the vagina (penis, fingers, toy, etc.) is "tugging on the curtains," which just barely - almost inperceptably - stimulates the "head" of the clitoris. Yes, the "body" of the clitoris (shaft, curae, etc.) are ALSO involved in the stimulation; and penetration definitely helps (with many women), but just like in men, the "real' action is near the head of the organ, and in most cases on the underside of the head.

And just like men prefer different levels of stimulation at different times during sex (or masturbation), there is no one type of stimulation that will "fill the bill" for women during sex. It really is sort of a dance you figure out as you go.

But NEVER feel inferior that mere penetration does not produce orgasm; that's just silly.

 

I have the same problem. For me, I think it's not being completely relax and just letting your body really feel.
When I'm alone, I can make myself orgasm easily.
But during sex, without clitoral stimulation, I can say I will not come.
I've been with my boyfriend 8 months now, and I'm just getting to the point where I feel like I could have an orgasm.
Now I just need to let it happen.

 

to the OP:
Some women can climax quickly, easily, and multiple times,
others have much more trouble doing so.
Some women squirt, some don't.
Some women can come from simple pentration, some need clitoral stimulation.

the point: I highly doubt anything is WRONG with you, or anything to be worried about... you just may have to take a few extra steps to achieve a climax than some women do.

Truth be told, it's very rare, and very difficult for me to climax during sexual intercourse, because I require a lot of clitoral stimulation to come, and it's difficult to get that during intercourse. I come much easier through oral and such, than sex.

And no, it isn't always just the guy's (or girl's --if you are bi-sexual/homosexual) fault... like some people may think.
One thing that can help is kegal exercises. Google it :-D
Another is, different sexual positions can offer more clitoral stimulation, as well as hitting your g-spot than others. So I'd experiment with different positions a bit, and see if anything seems to help that.

Another can also be your state of mind. Are you preoccupied in your own thoughts during sex? Worried about how your body looks? Worried about how youre performing as a sexual partner? Anything like that can make it very difficult to come...

If I hear my refrigerator make a clunk while I'm having sex, there's no chance in hell I'm having an orgasm then... so, point being, your state of mind affects it A LOT.

Can you orgasm while you masturbate? If you can, try to think of what gets you going, when you do...which spots you touch, what you use to masturbate, etc. that help you go. And then, don't be afraid to tell your partner what you like, while you're sexually active with him/her.

Sometimes other simple things can help... low music to drown out other background noises, certain lighting, certain smells...everything plays into it. Especially for women.

It could be lack of foreplay,
or troublesome thoughts (if you worry about getting pregnant, getting caught, or any of that)

Another potential is lack of lubrication...especially if using a condom.(which I hope you are)
If you aren't wet enough, it probably isn't going to feel that great...and if you can't get very wet on your own, try some lube. Not to mention, lube is good to prevent the breaking of condoms, in the first place.

Always use a water-based lube.

It may seem awkward to you, but it does help YOU, and it helps to prevent condom breakage.

I hated how condoms felt, until I began using lube. But, when I was your age, I didn't feel comfortable approaching such a thing with a partner yet...

Anyway, if you need anything just PM me... theres nothing to worry about, youre just a little more of a challenge to please, I'm sure