You may have heard me in a PSA on the radio. I was an early starter on a slippery slope to hell. Might've been just 12 years old, a mere whippersnapper. One time I was using a blowdryer and I took off the tag that says do not remove under penalty of law or some shit like that. This was my first taste of my future life of crime. Before I knew it, I was hooking up two VCR's to each other and dubbing my favorite movies, FBI warning and all (I should have at least cut that part out to make it less incriminating but, luckily, I didn't get caught). It didn't stop there. At just 15 years old, I stole Mogwais just for the thrill of feeding them after midnight and letting them loose in a local preschool and an orphanage. Once you get a taste of lawless adventure, there's no turning back. Kids, trust me. Stay in school, do your homework, join the scouts. Whatever you do, NEVER EVER EVER end up like me.