Ben married for 25+ years to a very attractive woman. My wife says her favorite thing that we do together is go to strip clubs. She’s always saying, “let’s go to a strip club”. When we go she obviously gets very turned on. Our joke is eventually she takes off her panties and hands them to me. She loves getting lap dances and enjoys the wandering hands, both hers and the strippers. She also says she gets hot watching me get lap dances. But it’s a known fact that we’re there for her entertainment. So my obvious question is “are you bisexual”, and the response is always no. What I’m seeing and what I’m hearing doesn’t match and I’m confused and frustrated. I’ve assured her that I’m cool with it if she is, hell I’d welcome it! We’ve even come home and she has requested girl/girl porn. So what gives? Is she just embarrassed by her interests. For the record our sex life is great and she’s very open to all sorts of fun. Thanks!
How long has she shown interests in strip clubs? A long time deal or just recently? Have you ever considered a gay nightclub? To me it sounds like she has a sexual interest in women but is afraid to admit it, possibly a fear of hurting you or someone finding out. How would you feel about her having sex with a woman? Back in my mid 20s I lived with my gf for over 3 years. She showed no interest in women, and our sex life rocked. She worked with an attractive divorced bisexual woman that I met a few times. My gf was a very jealous woman, so imagine my surprise when one night in bed she told me that her coworker said that if we were interested in a 3sum she was game! I was thinking HELL YEAH, but as jealous as my gf was I couldn’t see it ending well. GF started having girls night out with her coworkers and eventually one on one with her bi friend. Getting home late and the signs were there. Of course I wanted sex when she got home and she was unusually reluctant. We did have sex and I discovered a hickie here or there and a very wet swollen pussy. She denied having sex with her. I didn’t push it….in fact it turned me on. Well eventually her bi friend convinced her to leave me and move in with her. Off she went. Crushed me They lived together for a few years. Now she’s married to an older rich dude. When my current wife and I first got together in our late 30s she confessed during our fantasies talk of her being with a woman. WOW! She showed an interest in lesbian porn and it really turned her on. LSS she eventually spent an evening with a married bi acquaintance having her first FF sex (me and her husband were both out of town). Of course I asked a million questions. The woman called several times wanting to hook up again, but my wife declined. I asked why. She said it was pleasurable and something different but she scratched it off of her bucket list and that was that. I often wondered if she didn’t really enjoy it as much as she said, or did she enjoy it so much that it scared her and her sexual identity. Guess I’ll never know.
All good points me and my wife talk a lot and one was she always wanted to try having full sex with a women and I told her I’m ok with that I want her to have fun and feel like she don’t have to hide her desires with me And I opened up tto try new things and we are wanting to but taking baby steps but we did go to a strip club for the first time a couple years back and to see her get all into a lap dance with a very sexy stripper was a major turn on for me and we had amazing sex when we got home she told me she liked the stripper but since she was a stripper she didn’t want to with her because of what she does
I would suggest taking her to a nudist resort that is swinger friendly? Or a swinger cruise? That way she can spend time naked with women, or socialize with other women who are sexually liberated and most often bisexuality, in relaxed, no pressure environments. If she's at the pool with several other bi women, she might loosen up, chat about it?
i've known many women over the years who very much enjoyed going to strip clubs some were more than willing to admit they were bi or at least had a thing for women, others not so much but all the signs were there. One of my firsts was a friend who was at first just a friend, she was a couple years older very attractive and we'd often go out to clubs together but she would never let things go any further than flirting and dancing, one night a group of us went to a strip club afterwards, it was her idea, i bought her a couple dances cause the dancer kept suggesting it, we call it a night and catch a cab back to her place and like any other night i'd crash on the couch, however this night went very different, she jumped me the second we got in the door, i asked where that came from and she says she wasn't sure but her and the dancer got very touchy feely and even kissed a bit and she'd been horny since we left the club, we ended up fucking and it was anything but tame. following day she was a bit embarrassed and apologized and insisted it was a one time thing.........couple months later another trip to a strip club and we fucked again. I inquired a few times if she was into women and she insisted she wasn't but it wasn't uncommon for her to make out with other women when drunk and at strip clubs she'd get very involved with the dancers
OP here. Thanks guys, all good thoughts and advice. One part I left out, at every job, she for some reason, ends up being buddies with the office lesbian. I know it doesn’t go past friends, but we have double dated with a lesbian couple. Not the ultra dikey type. I think I need to setup a scenario where she is presented with a very good opportunity to actively engage another woman.
Maybe she is afaid that reality is not going to be as good as the fantasy. She needs self assurance to be able to express her true desires. My wifes suggestion to me, in our situation was "Lighten Up, it's just sex"
