I believe my wife is having an emotional afair...

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by BlackCrow, Aug 9, 2018.

  1. YogaBird

    YogaBird Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ

    Messages:
    146
    Likes Received:
    105
    Guys bullshit just as much as women do. And nothing I say is going to make a difference any way. So talking is the only mature and logical answer.
     
  2. McFuddy

    McFuddy Visitor

    Yeah, neither sex has a monopoly on that front.

    It's tough out there! Never really understood all the lying that goes on. Never really been with anyone like that or been that way myself. But have seen it a million times and can smell it from a mile away.
     
    Deidre likes this.
  3. soulcompromise

    soulcompromise Member HipForums Supporter

    Messages:
    22,105
    Likes Received:
    11,612
    I think it's your perfect right to be concerned, and I wouldn't be overly cautious about voicing your concerns. I say confront her about it. You obviously feel that it's serious enough to be posting about it here. What you do after is key: for e.g. let's say she denies it. Watch her behavior. See if it returns to normal or if it gets even more bizarre.

    I hope her dieting isn't the only thing. That could be because she wants to be healthy.
     
  4. quark

    quark Parts Unknown

    Messages:
    1,322
    Likes Received:
    783
    Jesus Christ, that's one of the most backwards, fucked up things I've ever heard.
     
    Alonso376 and (deleted member) like this.
  5. McFuddy

    McFuddy Visitor

    Yeah I mean if he were just being nosy and controlling I'd agree but given the circumstances astray is way off.
     
  6. Deidre

    Deidre Follow thy heart

    Messages:
    3,623
    Likes Received:
    3,126
    So much this. Goes on here too, sadly. If you’re not happy in your relationship, get out.
     
  7. smalltownco1

    smalltownco1 Members

    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    1
    Bad sign man. I have been there done that. She has started investing emotionally into him. If she is deleting thing she has cheated in her heart or even worse. Her snapping at you for simple things helps her justify what she is doing. I hate Facebook and Snapchat is even worse! Trust your gut. Mine has never failed me once! I bet yours won't either!
     
  8. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    111
    Who da fuck cares who she unloads on as long as you're unloading in her AMIRITE!
     
  9. lbushwalker

    lbushwalker Members

    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    23
    Troubled waters........
     
  10. Alonso376

    Alonso376 Members

    Messages:
    1,252
    Likes Received:
    799
    You are potentially a very dangerous person. You would put forward an extremely serious accusation against an innocent loyal husband who loves his wife. Anyway, if I were him I'd start giving her the best sex ever and lots if it. Obviously she feels neglected.
     
  11. lapush

    lapush Members

    Messages:
    143
    Likes Received:
    76
    I never listen/read what my wife is saying to her friends or e-mail.
    I might find out what a SOB she thinks I am.
     
  12. curiousgeorge

    curiousgeorge Senior Member

    Messages:
    815
    Likes Received:
    426
    You've answered all of your own questions already have no need of advice on what's taking place here.
    Only question remains, is for what you intend to do about it.
     
  13. wilsjane

    wilsjane Nutty Professor HipForums Supporter

    Messages:
    6,201
    Likes Received:
    5,047
    We are replying to a post that has had no feedback from the OP since it was posted 2 years ago.

    I have very mixed feelings on the matter. When a couple assume that marriage excludes them from having friends, suspicions that are often unwarranted can quickly send things downhill.
    Trust is a major part of any relationship, without it their is little hope of a long term future.
     
  14. curiousgeorge

    curiousgeorge Senior Member

    Messages:
    815
    Likes Received:
    426
    Yep, my bad and just realized the time frame, after it was too late.
    Oh well, a lot of discussions continue in forums, once the OP is long gone.

    As for the institution of marriage, I'm about to recommend it be outlawed....lol
    It's original design I think, was for the raising of children and for adhering to family values.
    Other than that, what the hell, is it good for and seriously???
     
  15. wilsjane

    wilsjane Nutty Professor HipForums Supporter

    Messages:
    6,201
    Likes Received:
    5,047
    We are all different and some of us are happy to set up a home, have children and consider our life complete.
    For the others, their is a thing called divorce, :yum::yum::yum:
    Sometimes, resurrecting these old threads can lead to some interesting discussions among current members. :yum::yum::yum:
     
    curiousfellow likes this.
  16. Calmerchameleon

    Calmerchameleon Members

    Messages:
    896
    Likes Received:
    3,482
    It's safe to say, your wife's actions aren't 'normal' interactions with her friend. For me it would send alarm bells ring for me. I think the best thing you can do is speak to her, in a none confrontational way, and see if she has a reasonable, logical answer for texting this guy late at night (while you are sleeping) and deleting all the messages? Hopefully she will see how suspicious that seems and will see the error of her ways.

    Either way things need to be address. Is she looking for excitement? Is the relationship not giving her what she needs? What has changed? Are there issues with intamacy or sex? Are there issues outside of the bedroom?

    Hopefully, she is just thrill seeking and hasn't acted on her impulses yet but the sooner you speak to her the better. Do go into the conversation cautiously though because it is a very sensitive subject and you don't want to go it with accusing eyes. She may put up a wall and it could backfire on you.

    I wish you luck.

    Additional... Oh, and I've realized this is a 2 year old thread...well I hope it worked out for them...
     
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2020
  17. lestere51

    lestere51 Members

    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1
    I believe a marriage should have a 5 year renewable contract with everything split 2 ways on termination.
     
    curiousfellow likes this.
  18. Captain Scarlet

    Captain Scarlet Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    15,885
    Likes Received:
    20,458
    That's sounds like part of the throw away society we live in .

    If you find the right person in the first instance you wont need a 5 year renewable contract. Until you find that person for certain then you shouldn't marry .
     
    Calmerchameleon likes this.
  19. Captain Scarlet

    Captain Scarlet Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    15,885
    Likes Received:
    20,458
    When I was doing relationship counselling the term "emotional affair" was the new buzz word . Its a bit like political correctness and was born about the wider use of mobile phones and particularly the texting function.

    Just because 2 people are busy texting each other doesn't mean they are having an emotional affair . At end of the day its not possible to have a group texting discussion . My wife was busy testing a male colleague last night. I know what its about . She is worried about redundancies at work and also the guy has a dad with the early signs of dementia ,which is roughly the same stage has her mother or my mother in law . However trust comes into play here and I have no reason to doubt that it will develop into anything else . She has had that opportunity now for nearly 30 years and she still puts up with me Lol.

    Sometimes people have close friends of the opposite gender who they turn to for say a second opinion on perhaps a delicate issue. We all know our partners will often shield us from the full truth if they think its something that may upset us, or hurt out feelings . So they will probably give us a half truth or a white lie which sometimes isn't what you want . With close friends there is sometimes an exchange of banter which is harmless fun and is just to rehenforce the friendship and nothing else .

    It is possible but rare that things could develop further . If say a meet up is arranged for physical activities happen , then this becomes a fully blown affair and not an emotional affair .

    Just my views on the matter.
     
  20. curiousgeorge

    curiousgeorge Senior Member

    Messages:
    815
    Likes Received:
    426
    [/QUOTE]
    Many out there would say.....Good luck with that!....
     
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2020

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice