I believe my wife is having an emotional afair...

Hey guys,

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I'm looking for advice on how to handle this situation: it appears my wife of 20 years is having an emotional affair (at least, I hope!) with an old high school friend. After recently reconnecting on Facebook, they have been both texting many times a day.

Her M.O. is she will wake up in the middle of the night and they will text each other. She will then erase all messages. Once in awhile, if I wake up early enough, I'd catch the last text he would send. I'd ask her about it, but would feign that it's harmless banter and catching up. My gut tells me otherwise.

I've also noticed a few changes in her mood. She's very quick to anger and is quite irritable. She also started on a new diet.

So, am I paranoidly overreacting or should I be concerned?

 

Yes. I don't know how you could stop what she obviously wants to do. It is concerning. Check all the facets of your married life and change/upgrade---I guess. Not much help--sorry.

 

Who cares? It's just your wife. They come and they go. Just let her do whatever and drink beers.

 

maybe its time to call it quits brother...if you are like me and cant share then cut your losses.....start hiding assets asap....stop banging her and start ignoring her..get a lawyer

good luck

 

Ask yourself why she is texting him in the middle of the night while you're right there.

If she is having an emotional affair she must feel you're not there for her emotionally. You should probably find out why.

 

Notice how you didnt mention the kids

 

I don’t think affairs are always about the relationship. Cheating is a choice and why not tell your spouse that you’re unhappy?

I would tell her you suspect this and see what she says. If she doesn’t want to work at the marriage then you’ll have to make a tough decision.

I think it’s an unreasonable expectation though to think that someone can “make” you happy.

 

Monitoring partner's phone calls is a form of domestic violence where I come from. Perhaps it's time to look at your own behaviours first.

 

How is looking at someones phone, violence?

Saying stuff like you did belittles people that get physically assaulted..

Sneaking looks at a partners phone, not a good idea, but it aint violence

 

https://www.lifeline.org.au/static/...ctsheet-10-domestic-violence-wfvsvvpwinhl.pdf
Types of Abuse | Women Against Abuse

 

no it is not....you are wrong.....being a control freak is terrible but it isnt violence

 

abuse' isnt violence

 

dudes wife is stepping out on him ad you accuse him of violence against women because he read her phone?....that's nuts

 

Abusing a person's right to privacy, for starters.
As I said earlier, any such abuse is regarded as domestic violence, and is a crime, where I come from (Australia).
Read the links I provided.

 

Lifelines guidelines arent the law

 

She better develop a safety and escape plan. Dude looked at a message of hers.

 

I'd say the deleting texts and texting in the middle of the night is definitely suspicious. But if she says it's innocent you have to either go with your gut or just trust her.
Just try to talk to her and explain your feelings and see what hers are.

 

That's really all one can do. It's not easy, but it isn't complicated.

 

If she is deleting the evidence, hubby aint going to get the truth is he


Why is this always the standard reply from the ladies?, oh, just talk to her, tell her how you feel.....so she can bullshit him some more

 

Forgot about this part.

Leave her. I mean, you could communicate with her, but she's already lying to you about it... Deleting the messages.

But if it seems like she doesn't even want to admit there's issues and work on them... Get your happy ass out of there.