In my dreams I die alot. But I end up coming back to life stronger. Good chap, nice work. What I mean is: being the loneliest man alive just means being completely lost inside your head. I am here now means there are people far, far, far lonelier than I. Relatively speaking I am never alone. Please, refrain from spasming into my logistics: oh wait, all I am I do not deny. *grin I tell the past to fuck off. It lingers. I rip at it with claws. It returns. I am accepting who I am now. I am less. Maybe there is something more out there. Death might catch up to me before I find it. But, I am surprising the hell out of death by catching her now.
Isn't it great to accept who you are now? I think it opens a lot of doors. You can finally grow in any direction you want. The rest of your life you can make decisions with a clear brain... uhhh, ok forget that. But accepting who you are now, makes you appreciate the past more, I think. Everything that happened to you in the past contributed to what you now are. You can speak freely now without having to be ashamed others might find out something about you, cause you heve accepted that. blah, N.
I think you need to take a course or start up a hobby... sounds like you don't have much direction or motivation happening right now, little purpose. That's probably why you're having all those death dreams.
Right now, I doubt you have the slightest clue what you wrote. I gave you disapproving reptuation where all I wrote was "idiot".
WayFarer and I together constitute something more lonely than even the loneliest man alive, if you can get that. *grin