Hello guys, This is a long story that started two years ago. I was 22 when I first travelled to Paris, I was having a good time and I searched for escorts service. I found a really hot girl, damn she looked like a VS model. So I contacted her, she ask me for personal details and pictures so after that she decided to arrange the meeting (very expensive). When I arrive to her airbnb, this russian lady was so stunning like any other girl I have seen before and it was my first time paying for sex and I felt a bit weird. We talked and then we started kissing and having sex. It was pretty wild, I really enjoyed it. So we keep talking and we arrange a second meeting days later that was so unrealistic, best sex ever, I spend 3 hours with her. After that I kept talking with her for several months till I went back to Europe. And we met again, we went clubbing, dinner, walking and we plan to travel to another countries. I started feeling somethig for her and I told her that. So she wasn't really convinced but she told me that she could travel to my country to "see how it goes". I push things to hard, because I really felt something for her, but she wanted to keep working and makig loads of money. Months later I met another girl, who is currently my girlfriend. She is from Argentina, she is very very beautiful maybe don't have the body of supermodel and don't make everybody crack their necks to see her when she is walking in the street but she is a really good woman, lovely and sexy. I love her a lot. But I cant stop thinking in the other one, so I did another travel and I met her again while I was dating my current gf. I don't pay her anymore, we have like a lovers relationship that I pay her with treating her really well, making her laugh, taking her to new places and some gifts. She don't know I have a girlfriend and I feel like I love truly love this two woman. Sometimes I can't sleep thinking that something bad could happen to her, but I know she knows how to take care of her self. Sometimes I just text her during the week to see if she is ok or call her, and I feel I want to have a life with her but at the same time I want to have a life with my girlfriend. I love both a lot and I really don't know what to do. I feel like I want to protect this lady, give her a lot of love maker her feel as a special woman not by her body/face. I try to surprise her everytime I have the possibility to travel, send her gifts on her birthday/ special days, cards, flowers, and then she send me the pictures of she hughing the flowers, she send me also hand write cards and ankward stuff haha. And I am not able to tell this story to my gf, the last thing I would do to her is to make her feel bad, cry or anything.
Living a lie is a terrible situation so my advice is to get out of it ASAP because that's gonna eat up your soul in the long run. I'm not talking about a full confession for now, everyone has the right to be an idiot for awhile, just don't make a habit of it. If you feel bad for cheating your gf that's okay, it shows you're not a psychopath. Only you have to make up your mind and do it quick: You are not being fair to anyone involved, not even Yourself. Hope i didn't do additional damage saying all this. If yes, forgive me.
