I have got dumped one month ago, which was pretty horribile experience, even though there is an another girl who I danced with on prom before and we could say I like her really much. The girl who dumped me was the first girlfriend that I had, and when I began the relationship, I had the chance to keep the contact with the "prom girl", but I thought it wouldnt be a good idea, because I do not really believe in friendship between girls and boys. Someone told me that this prom girl wants to talk to me , so I thought " Oh my god, is it possibile that for once I can get a the chance to undo the wrong choice which I have made in the past? " Prom dance was two years ago. suspicious link removed by staff Wrote her two weeks ago, after that we ve met two times, and then the third time when I asked her out, she said politely no, by saying the next week is going to be busy for her. I showed my conversation with her, to my friends, to my parents, all of them said that this is a friend zone situtation. My instinct told me that she likes me, but hell I was wrong. Now I cannot shallow my pride, not after I ve got dumped. For some reason I still hope that the others were wrong, but usually I tend to be wrong about stuff like this. This is some kind of curse you see, because everyday everyminute I am visiting that piece of shit of facebook like a frickin stalker, just to see if she wrote me. What I want to do now is to pretend that this never happened, and delete my frickin fb user, but I know this is would nt be a good way to solve my problem. You cant be friends with someone who you like. I know I cant. Anyway I give myself two weeks, to see how does this plays out, then I am going to delete myself.
First off you need to train your mind to endure situations like this and just go with the flow a bit more. The mindset you have now, isn't necessarily a curse, because you do have control of how you react to certain situations, but you haven't taught yourself to ask the right questions or get the right coping skills when things in life don't go the way you want them too. Also people of the opposite gender can totally be friends, your view that they can't is dogmatic and wrong. In life your going to interact with opposite sex people in class, work, and just general association. If you keep that view that you can't be friends with girls, your unnecessarily closing yourself off from potential pathways in which you might meet the right girl for you via because you were friends with someone else. Oh yeah cut out that stalking behavior, it doesn't do anybody any good and can get you a bad reputation. Also you are in a friend-zone situation with that one girl. Don't waste anymore time pursuing her romantically, as a friend sure continue, as a romantic partner stop.
"boys and girls can't be friends". There's your first and most serious mistake. You must be friends--REAL friends with as many girls as possible. They're over half the population and are much more fun to be friends with than men anyway. Take rejection as part of life and move on. Needy is a sure turn off.
This statement stood out to me. People you like are likable for a reason, so enjoy the reason. The hardest thing to accept is that you are not a priority, but the relationship can still be very valuable. On the other hand, if you physically attracted and want to have that be shared, it is very difficult to deny yourself. One way to do it is to find a lover that gets it out of hour system some call this rebound.....i call it parceling out life into segments.
I agree with both Monk and Scratcho. Now, the term "friend-zoning" is actually a pet peeve of mine, but that doesn't really matter in this case. So, let me just say.......... OP - I don't understand why you must feel like, number one; girls and boys can't be friends, and number two; you can't be friends with someone you like. What are you afraid of? First off, girls make WONDERFUL friends, I have a lot of them myself. AND, my female best friend is someone I've asked out TWICE during our amazing friendship. She married a great guy a few years ago. Am I bitter about that? Of course not. He's really cool, and I'm happy for them both. I'll be seeing a great friend next week who's visiting from the country where my "home town" is in. I actually met her when she was living in my neighbourhood. She's awesome and I used to be in love with her...although I never said anything(I'm sure she knew, though). She was taken at the time, and I chose to remain friends with her. And why not, right? She's an amazing person, and it's an honour to have her as a friend. So, we're still friends, and we're hanging out next week. Now, I have a girlfriend at the moment. We're very committed. But that doesn't mean I can't keep my female friends. My girl understands that I have many female friends, and she respects that I do. In fact, she has guy friends and it's all good, too. As for the "stalker" behaviour, I think you would benefit from focusing on other activities during this trying time. I've been there myself, actually. When my last online ex and I broke up a few years ago, I got pretty depressed and ended up losing weight due to loss of appetite. I started to feel weak, and I knew I had to do something, or I'd get seriously ill. So, I started exercising. REGULARLY. I also drank like fuck, but I don't recommend this at all obviously, lol. xD But you see, if you can distract yourself MOMENTARILY from the hurt, but in a healthy way, then you can slowly nurture your soul back to health. Forget my alcohol intake but besides exercising regularly, I also overloaded my work schedule and I watched tonnes of movies during this time. All those things kept my mind off the depressing things, and because of that I was actually able to stay on facebook, too. And eventually I got better, and of course fitter because I was lifting weights and everything. The best part is, I'm still friends with my ex! So, look within yourself. Try to rid yourself of those hangups, such as the idea that girls and guys can't be friends, or you can't like someone and be friends with them too, and shit like that. Be flexible. Be chill. Be well.
